Coffee Stains (Discovery of Love)

Chapter Nineteen- Espresso Romano

{Chapter Nineteen}

I feel a sob rising in my throat as I push the memory back into the corner of my mind. I push down the sob as well so that Max doesn't notice. 

"Jade?" Max says quietly like I'm fragile and at this moment I do feel fragile.  I don't answer for the fear that I would breakdown if I speak.

"What's wrong?" I hear Max asks as he kneels in front of me and softly wipes the tears from my cheeks. I shake my head and try to put on a forced smile. 

"You can tell me what's wrong.  Maybe I can help you," Max gently says.

Can I really tell him what's wrong? We haven't been dating for long, I don't know if I can totally trust him. However, I have known him for almost a year now and he has been nothing but kind to me; but should I really-

"Is it about your father?" he cautiously asks.

My head snaps up with wide eyes,"How do you know about my father?"

"I kind of heard you guys talking in the alley after you suddenly ran out the coffee shop. I-" he starts to explain.

"How could you?" I exclaim angrily. "How could you eavesdrop on something so personal?"

"I didn't know who he was at first!  He could've done something to you!  I couldn't just leave you there!" he exclaims, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, you could've," I place my head in my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks. 

I feel Max's arms wrap around my body and pull me into his warm embrace,"I'm sorry."

I shake my head against his shoulder as sobs rack through my body. His hold tightens but not to the point that it's uncomfortable. It's more comforting than anything else. 

"He looks at you like you hold the moon or something."

Faith's words buzz in my mind. I remember the sincerity that shone in Max's eyes as he talked about me. I also remember his words:

"The most important thing in a relationship is trust.  So the question is, do you trust me?"

I can trust him, I know I can but something holds me back. It frustrates me.  I want to trust him so badly, but I just can't.

"Why can't I just trust you?" I ask quietly more to myself than Max. "You have been nothing but nice and sincere to me. Why is it so hard?"

"You've been hurt," Max says, rubbing soothing circles on my back. 

"He had a lipstick stain on his work shirt two years ago.  From there it all went downhill. He came home later than usual and my parents became distant-" I start.

"You don't have to tell me," Max interrupts.  I wrap my arms around his torso, biting my lip.

"One evening he came home early and everything was normal again..." I let out a shaky breath causing Max to stroke my hair but say nothing. "However, the next morning he took his suitcase, my mother's money and our car and left. I can remember my mother crying and looking like she was falling over the edge. I can remember how much it ripped my heart and I started to believe that true love was dangerous and toxic. All it did was hurt you. All it did was hurt my mother."