friendzone • k.sj

fifteen

fifteen: despair

krista's pov

Krista's tummy began to growl loudly before she realized that she hasn't eaten food since three hours ago. She locked the phone she was using seconds ago after browsing information about Seoul. Still slouching on the wide couch inside their hotel room, the wind breezing that crawled through her dry skin, she decided to stand up in a few seconds. She needs to eat; what her mind told her.

Alone inside the hotel room where both Krista and Seokjin stay, the snowflakes continuously pouring down from the dim sky, the loneliness began to make Krista feel it. She wonders how Seokjin feels right now as he's on a date with his long-time girlfriend, Irene. Is he happy? Is he excited? What does he say when he's with her?

The moment she wore her thick coat with faux fur, she grabbed her valuables and the key to the room. She wanted to eat somewhere she hasn't tried before so she could eat something new, something real.

Irene is mad at Krista, of course, after she caused a scene outside our hotel room two days ago. Furious, she showed pictures of Krista and Seokjin together that was saved on her phone. Paparazzi is the key of issues. Krista tried to neglect the fact that Irene is mad at her yet she couldn't help but to overthink about the possible consequences.

"Damn, this should be none of my business but fuck the media for involving me," Krista muttered to herself as she walked.

Krista ended up eating at McDonald's alone. It's funny how she wanted to eat somewhere new but since she's not with Seokjin at the moment, she couldn't choose where to go despite the huge amount of restaurants and food stalls. She bought ice cream after that and went home after. Opening the front door of their hotel room, she heard a voice crying. She instantly knew it was Seokjin.

Rushing to get inside the room, Krista unintentionally dropped the room key and witnessed Seokjin lying on the cold floor, weeping his eyes uncontrollably with three empty bottles of alcohol and his black polo shirt being rumpled. She instantly knelt down right in front of Seokjin and rubbed his back.

"Jin, tell me what's happening," she told him in between loud huffs as she began to shake inside. The entire room, even the person who is technically drunk, smelled like alcohol. Seokjin couldn't breathe properly as his air passage blocked its way from sobbing. 

"Fuck," Seokjin cursed, punching the floor so hard several times until his knuckles felt numb, which Krista tried to stop by holding his wrist by force. "Krista — this is the fucking shit nightmare. Fucking everything."

"Jin, what happened?" Krista repeated her question, this time, trying to calm her tone down despite the anxiety she feels at the moment.

A moment of silence filled the room; just Seokjin's weeping voice as Krista tried to wipe his tears from his eyes.

"Irene—" Seokjin gulped loudly, still crying continuously, "—Irene broke up with me."

Krista's heart felt like it stopped beating for a few moments as if she could feel Seokjin's heart which is broken for sure. No, she has to be strong for Seokjin.

"Oh my God, Jin. Why did she do that?" Krista tried to sound furious to show sincere and emotional sympathy in front of her friend, Seokjin.

"I— I— I honestly don't know," Seokjin stuttered in between tears. "She suddenly just told me that we're done. That she's in-love with someone else now. She even emphasized the words; he's way better than you or some shit like that. That she's tired with me."

Seokjin's tears couldn't stop rolling down from his eyes while Krista felt loss at words. Her stomach clenched, feeling some sort of sympathy for Seokjin as she thought, Seokjin doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

"Oh no... Jin," Krista's voice softened, still rubbing Seokjin's back as she tried to comfort her friend. "Please don't listen to what Irene just told you. She has no idea how much she wasted an amazing person like you. She will miss a lot, you know. And, damn, you deserve someone better."

"And who must that be?" Seokjin asked through a soft whisper with his eyebrows furrowed.

Me.

"I don't know either. Time will tell, Jin," Krista shrugged her shoulders while saying those words to Seokjin. She wanted to tell that he deserves a person who cares a lot for him but she's sure that her feelings are unrequited. The only thing she could do is support his decisions. 

"Fuck my life," Jin sniffed as he wiped his tears using both of his thumbs. "I can't move on that easily."

"Obviously, Jin. Moving on is not an easy thing to do. It takes a long process unless you really are good at it. I just— I just—" Krista stopped from speaking, sounding like she hesitated for a while, "—I just want to let you know that I'll be here for you, okay? I'm just here if you need any help."

"Thank you, Krista. You're my saviour," he smiled at Krista with his puffy eyes and surprised her as he kissed her cheek.

Huh? Still clueless as to why Seokjin did it, Krista felt like her cheeks suddenly turned red from blushing. He stared at her, his bloated eyes telling her how he feels; sadness. Still not sinking in, she stared at the blank wall that was facing her and Seokjin. 

"I— I —I a-am always... always here for you," she exclaimed severely, goosebumps rushing all over her entire body. She doesn't want to show him that she is shaking intensely from the things that happen this evening.

Seokjin softened as he saw her expression; tense. He went near her face without any hesitation and brushed his lips once again; but this time, he kissed the corner of her plump lips while closing his eyes. Several times. Krista felt like it is wrong because she didn't even bother pushing him away yet she's feeling the secret sparks. She's not sure if she's even allowed to be happy about this situation or not.

Seokjin caressed her cheek and looked straight to her eyes, making her look into his eyes as well. She didn't know what he would do next until he passed out, falling on the floor and eventually shut his eyes, leaving Krista still sitting on the floor beside him— speechless.

Krista, still unable to speak and her mind still not functioning well, still stared on the white wall that still faces her. Did he just do that?

"How many drinks did you have, huh?" I laughed quietly as I started to caress his soft cheek.

Krista wanted to pull Seokjin up to the bed so he could sleep properly but she couldn't carry his weight. She ended up getting two pillows and a warm quilt as she placed it under his head.

Snoring loudly, Krista laughed at the thought of Seokjin being happy. She wished for him to be all right.

"Shit— Jin, I know I may be a creep right now but— I think I'm falling in-love with you," Krista murmured those words as her stomach clenched from her emotions, following Seokjin's loud snores. "I hate seeing you broken and sad."

Feelings. Feelings began to grow as days go by. She knew she's falling for Seokjin and she couldn't deny it anymore. Unable to express her own feelings since the best thing she could do is to remain friends with him.

author's note

oh my goooosh my last update was october! damn i'm so sorry for being so slow at updating but i had personal problems and reasons... so i'm sorry. but here it is! an! update! this will be my christmas gift for all of you, amazing readers. thank you for sticking up with me and my story. for being patient. for posting amazing comments on my stories. it makes me feel better. thank you. :) i love you all.

see you on the next update!

question: where do you live?
answer: i live in the philippines! how about you?