friendzone • k.sj

thirty four

jin's pov

I felt my knuckles hurt and in so much pain after I punched the wall just beside my bed. My punch was so hard that my wall had a hole. I started to wonder why I punched a wall so damn hard which caused my knuckles to bleed; as if it would solve anything at all. 

I admit, I absolutely envy and despise Jungkook. I hate how Krista chose him over me but hell, I was too late to confess my feelings. I took her feelings for granted in the beginning; is this karma what I'm getting? I hate how Jungkook can hold Krista's hand so lightly and gently while I find it hard and uneasy to hold her hand—even as a best friend. Maybe it's because I was thinking that holding her hand would be a malice to her. I bear no malice to her at all, or maybe I'm just denying.

I put my pillow above my face and clutched to it tighter, trying not to breathe. But I couldn't—I couldn't kill myself over a gorgeous girl. God damn it, gorgeous girl.

It took me several large and long breaths before I could calm myself down. I stood up from my bed and walked to the kitchen to grab something to drink to make myself hydrated since I felt like I ran out of water inside my body due to letting out my tears.

I cried—cried like a crybaby. I cried because I feel like I'm slowly losing hope to Krista. I cried because I have full of regrets. I cried because I couldn't lose Jungkook. I cried because I am too late. I cried because I felt like it would feel me at ease—unfortunately, it didn't.

I leaned on the kitchen counter while holding a glass with water in it. I sighed to myself and thought, this needed to be stopped. 

Yes, my dramatic sessions should stop because I know for a fact that being emotional and crying wouldn't help anything at all unless you do something to solve it. Well, I thought of a plan, but not a good plan. I wanted to be a rebel for this one only, since it's sinking in; I'm in-love with my best friend.

I want to win her back.

krista's pov

"Hey—" I cleared my throat as we finally finished watching the movie. "You know, I loved the movie. It made me so emotional since basically, James, who is the main lead, fell in-love with his best friend, Samantha, but Samantha didn't return his feelings since James was too late to confess to her and now she had someone. Like, what the hell, the ending was too sad! They didn't end up together."

Jungkook just chuckled, but I didn't. I just realized that the movie was actually happening to me in real life except that I'm the one who confessed to Jin but got rejected since he had a girlfriend. For sure he won't even return his feelings to me.

God, I miss Seokjin. I miss our days in Korea, I miss eating with him during lunch, I miss shopping with him, I miss eating with him—I miss everything for short. Well, shit. Does he even consider me as his best friend? He was being too distant with me nowadays. It hurts me. 

"Krista?" Jungkook waved his hand in front of my face which made me turn back into reality; he interrupted my thoughts but it's all right, I shouldn't think about Jin too much. I chose Jungkook, didn't I? Don't regret your decision, Krista, I said in my mind. I slowly smiled and bowed my head.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked, trying to sound fine and normal. I got a heavy sigh from him, which saddened me. Did it disappoint him that I was out of myself earlier?

"It's nothing," he weakly smiled but held my hand, keeping me safe. "Are you hungry, Krista?"

I held onto my stomach and pouted my lips. I nodded and said, "Yeah, I am. Do you want to eat?"

"Yeah, I need food right now," he whined, still holding my small and warm hand. Feeling the warmth of his touch is very comfortable; as if I would crave for his touch when I'm not with this person.

I intertwined his hand on mine and placed it on my chest. He looked at me curiously and I just smiled. "Let's find a restaurant that would satisfy your cravings then."

He just nodded in approval and we continued walking. We were silent, which became so unusual to me since Jungkook used to blabber his mouth filled with interesting stories. I slightly scratched the nape of my neck.

"Is something bothering you, Jungkook?" I finally asked.

"Not really, it's just that you were out of your thoughts earlier. I just thought that you were thinking about Jin and not me, that you regretted choosing me rather than choosing me. I don't know, I feel paranoid," he mumbled softly.

I started to feel guilty because I was really thinking about Jin that time. I mean—I wouldn't even choose Jungkook if I'm not interested at him at least a single bit and would automatically choose Jin instead; but no, I like Jungkook and I sure as hell will develop my feelings for Jungkook.

"Jungkook," I tried to sound calmly and did an awkward laugh. "Why would I think Jin at this time? I mean—he's not even doing something weird at this time so should I worry? The answer is, no."

Well, deep inside, I really am worried. God, Jungkook doesn't deserve a liar like me. But I am sure that I won't lie to Jungkook anymore, and that's a promise.

Jungkook smiled, showing off his wrinkles on the corner of his eyes and tightened his soft grip. I love this side of his, it's adorable.

"You are way too cute," I pinched his cheek, which caused him to whine in pain. "Come on, date, let's eat."

author's note

i don't know but the love triangle is getting real my friends

i feel so hyped about this; even the author
gets hyped about my own
story lmao joke

i love seokjin and all but why am i making him
suffer in this story. i suddenly also feel
in pain, friends.