This tour is draining the shit out of me. We've almost come into a routine: eat, sleep, concert, club then repeat. Although it was amazing, it sucked at the same time.
Today was our last concert.
It was bittersweet. I loved being on tour and so did the rest of the guys. We didn't want to be anywhere else but on a stage. Even though we are all clumsy and we at least broken one bone on this tour. I broke my nose and my finger, Andy broke 3 ribs and his nose, Jake broke his thumb, CC broke his nose, and Jinxx broke his wrist. So yeah we had some up and downs.
But I would do it all over again.
We were prepping for our last show, it was in London. As I was putting my make up on, Andy came up behind me and hugged me. I gasped. What the hell is he doing?
"I don't want this tour to end", he whispered in my ear.
I blushed furiously, "I uhm, me neither."
"I like being with you Ashley, you're my best friend."
=_____= LE FRIEND ZONE
"Aha, yeah you're my best friend too Andy..." I trailed off, frowning.
He let go of me and turned me around to face him, "What's wrong?"
This is it, I have to tell him. I have to tell him how I feel. It's the last concert, I just need to do it. I can't hold it in any longer.
"Look, Andy...I have to tell-" I was cut off by Juliet barging in and jumping on Andy.
"BABY! It's been too long! I just wanted to drop in and said hello and good luck! I won't be there tonight, I have to head home today," she kissed him, "good luck baby and to you too Ashley!" she left.
I walked out of the van but Andy grabbed my hand, "Hey what did you want to tell me?"
I looked down and pulled my hand away, "Um, lets kick some ass tonight okay?" I looked up and smiled at him.
I walked away. God fucking dammit.
The show started and we were killing it. Our Wretched and Divine CD was a huge hit in London, the crowd went wild for us.
Finally it was our last song, it's "In The End"
I love this song, but today it put me in a sad mood. It was the end of the tour and that depressed me. Ugh.
I was lost in my bass, playing as hard as I could and I finally heard the last line of the song that Andy sang so beautifully. I finished my chords then suddenly everything went in slow motion.
I couldn't play my bass, my body froze and there was a sudden popping noise followed by this pain in my chest. My legs couldn't hold me up and the last thing I could see was Andy running towards me and then I hit the ground.
Everything went black.
****************
Where am I? Its dark and I hear voices. But I hear them outside my body, I hear Andy.
"Doctor, please, is he gonna be okay? Please tell me he is going to get through this, please!" he begged. Why was he talking to a doctor? Why can't I respond? I can't move my body, my mouth, my legs, nothing! Whats going on?!??!
"I honestly can't tell you right now, he is in critical condition. The bullet hit one of his heart valves and I don't know if he is going to recover. He is going to have to go into surgery, immediately." the doctor explained.
Surgery?! What happen-suddenly I couldn't breathe. This pain in my chest is almost unbearable. I can't breathe! Someone help me!!!
"Take him to the ER, he needs surgery now. We are losing him." the doctor ordered the nurses.
I could feel myself moving.
"Sir, we are losing him. We can't perform surgery on him until we have a steady heartbeat." explained the nurse.
How could I hear all of this and not respond? THIS IS BULLSHIT.
I'm dying..I'm screaming and no one can hear me.
"ASHLEY! Please be strong Ashley! I love you!"
That deep voice..sounds..familiar...
Everything went silent. I can't breathe. I'm losing.
I fell into a coma.
**********************
I ruled the world with these hands I shook the heavens to the ground.
I laid the gods to rest.
I held the key to the kingdom, lions guarding castle walls.
Hail the king of death.
Then I lost it all, dead and broken.
My backs against the wall, cut me open.
I'm just trying to breathe. just trying figure it out cause I built these walls to watch them crumbling down
I said, "Then I lost it all"
And who can save me now.
I stood above another wa, another jewel upon the crown
I was the fear of man, but I was blind
i couldnt see the world right in front of me, but now...I can...Yeah..
Cause I lost it all dead and broken,
My backs against the wall, cut me open.
I'm just trying to breathe just trying to figure it out,
Cause I built these walls to watch them crumbling down
I said, "then I lost it all" and who can save me now?
That voice sounded familiar but I didn't know who it was, why can I hear someone singing? Everything is black and all I hear is this voice..
I believe that we all fall down sometimes, ohh.
Can't you see that we all fall down sometimes?
I believe that we all fall down sometimes,
Can't you see that we all fall down sometimes?
I believe that we all fall down sometimes....
Yeah...
And it stopped...it was soothing and peaceful, but who was that?
"Ashley...if you can hear me...please do something...open your eyes, move your fingers, squeeze my hand..please..Ashley..." he sobbed.
Who was he? Where am I? This is frustrating.
"I love you Ashley...I should've told you before...I love you so much.." he paused to cry.
I opened my eyes, to find this stranger sitting next to me.
