Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | four

"Would you please let me know your plans tonight,
'Cause I just wont let go 'till we both see the light."

. . . . .

My breath caught in my throat as I sat up straight in bed, clutching my chest. My heart beat at a normal rate, but my mind was racing at the thought of what I had done in my dream. Had I really become that desperate? I refused to be that person. I may be terrified of my own mind, but I would never choose death over life. I'd rather go insane than be six feet underground.

I rolled out of bed, steadying myself as my legs were a bit wobbly. Traces of my dreams were still on my mind as I stood in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face. I ran my damp hands through my hair, trudging down the stairs and falling flat onto the couch in the living room. I really wasn't up for making breakfast this morning.

The couch was my home for the better part of the morning and into mid afternoon. My thoughts were clouded with the previous nights dream, contemplating if there was a way to keep myself from falling asleep all together. I was too scared, the idea of what my mind was telling me made chills run up and down my spine. I flinched at the sound of my phone vibrating on the coffee table in front of me.

I didn't even bother sitting up as I grabbed my phone and answered the call, resting it on the side of my face and letting my arm drop back down to it's previous position of hanging off the side of the couch.

"Hello?"

"Hey buddy." It was Tyler.

I sighed. "Hey."

"How are you doing?" He waited patiently on the other end for me to answer.

"Fine," I replied shortly.

"How are the songs coming along?" He sounded genuinely interested.

"They're good. I'm about to start working on another one right now," I lied, though the idea sounded like a good one.

"That's great!"

I sat up then, now holding the phone in my hand as I threw my legs over the side of the couch. Tyler's enthusiasm toward our nonexistent music career was undeniable and only pushed me to try harder in hopes that maybe one day we could share our songs with the world. Tyler's lyrics weren't meant to be collecting dust on shelves in our living room, they were meant to be listened to.

"Yeah," I smiled to myself. "I finished The Run and Go-"

"I like that title," Tyler interrupted me briefly, already knowing exactly what song I was talking about.

"I finished that in like a day, so I hope these other two will come just as easily."

"Don't push yourself too hard though," Tyler replied, and as much as I appreciated his caring words I knew that I had to do so anyway. I didn't want to be the kind of guy who sat on the couch all day overwhelmed by his anxieties.

"I won't," I answered before we quickly ended the call just a few minutes later.

It was nice of him to check up on me, but I could tell he was still distracted by his girlfriend. I wandered if he had popped the question yet. I stood from the couch, now itching to get behind my drums. I moved quickly up the steps to grab one of the two unfinished tapes before making my way out into the garage.

For the first time since I had woken up this morning, my mind was at ease. I sat on the stool behind my drum kit as I listened carefully to the next song Tyler had left for me. I mouth along to the words, already having them memorized from listening to the song on repeat.