Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | forty

"I do not know why I would go,
In front of you and hide my soul."

. . . . .

"I thought we were going to use that take." Tyler pointed to one of the many spliced pieces of our recordings on the computer screen.

I sat back in the computer chair with a sigh, my eyebrows knitting together as he spoke. "No, we agreed on the one I already put in there."

Tyler turned to me with a defiant look on his face and hit the playback button. We both stared at each other in silence at the part of the song we were working on played through.

And then Tyler just smiled and nodded his head in approval. "You're totally right, man. Nice work."

I rolled my eyes at his words, and tried to smile, but it was hard to be fully into our music when the only thing on my mind was my dream from the night before. What could it have meant? I knew that my shadow would never leave me, that dark part of my brain, but I had hopes that with the medication that maybe I wouldn't see him for a while. I guess I had been wrong.

My entire body tensed and I leaned away from the desk as Tyler's phone began vibrating loudly next to the keyboard. I was so on edge. The medication may have been helping with my anxiousness, but it sure as hell didn't stop my mind from running wild in instances like these.

"Oh, I've got to take this!" Tyler sounded rushed, but excited as he picked up his phone and turned to leave the garage.

A long sigh left my lips as I leaned my head back against the chair and shut my eyes. I just needed to remind myself of everything that was going right in my life. As the psychologist my doctor had recommended to me said, positive thoughts were the beginning of making each day better. It sounded hokey, but I was willing to try.

I slouched further down into the chair, lacing my finger together and resting them on my stomach as I thought over everything I had gained these last few months. The two most important things that came to mind was my newfound confidence in our music and, of course, Bryce. I had my best friend and my family too. I really didn't need much else.

"Doing your reflecting exercises I see." My eyebrows scrunched and I opened one eye as Tyler walked back into the room.

"Yes, and you just ruined it," I replied as I sat back up straight in my chair.

"Well reflect on this, friend." My interest perked as Tyler paused for dramatic effect. "This Friday. Brew House. Eight o'clock."

Once again my eyebrows knitted together. But after a moment his words finally began to sink in. My heart already started to beat the tiniest bit quicker as it clicked in my head.

I pointed a finger between the two of us. "We-we're playing?"

"And they called me!" Tyler spoke excitedly. "They must have heard how well we did at our last gig."

"I don't know..." I rung my hands together nervously.

Tyler frowned and placed a hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner. "It's not going to be like last time."

The Brew House. It had been the first place we had played a show and it was also the place where I had walked out on our set because of a panic attack. But things were different now, right? I had made it through the second time around and it had felt great. I just had to remember that feeling and I knew we'd be able to make it through.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright, let's do it."

Tyler grinned happily and clapped me on the back. I pursed my lips in thought before I stood from my chair and grabbed my phone from my back pocket. I glanced at Tyler as he took my place at the computer and continued on with our song while I turned my back to him. I scrolled through my phone and tapped Bryce's name, her number appearing on the screen a second later.