Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | twenty-four

"I am calling your lightning,
Down from your dark hiding place,
Go ahead and show me your face."

. . . . .

My hands clutched the steering wheel tightly as my eyes darted back and forth across the road as I drove. I glanced over at Bryce momentarily as she sat in the passenger seat next to me, humming along to some Pretenders song that played quietly through the car speakers.

My eyes quickly looked up into the rear view mirror to see Johnny as he sat sideways in the back seat, the seat belt wrapped oddly around his tiny frame while he bounced excitedly.

"You ready for your first day back?" I decided to break the comfortable silence we were in.

I glanced through the mirror at the 10 year old in the backseat and I chuckled slightly as he nodded his head vigorously.

"Logan says his dad bought him one of those tiny battery powered cars you can ride in for Christmas and he's gonna bring it in for show and tell." Johnny spoke in one breath and I smiled as he cheeks turned red from lack of air.

How kids talked so much, so quickly was beyond me. Johnny turned to look out the window briefly before he spoke again. "My dad never got me something that cool."

The air in the car turned heavy as my body tensed at his words. I flipped on the turn signal as I looked both ways before merging onto the intersecting road.

"That's because your dad is an asshole," I mumbled as quietly as I could.

There was a sharp jab to my shoulder and I turned quickly to Bryce, the glare she shot me caused me instantly to close my mouth. I hadn't actually meant to say that out loud. I didn't know Johnny's father so I really didn't have the right to speak about him, but even so, anyone who was willing abandoned their family was a piece of trash in my eyes. The man obviously took these people for granted and they had to suffer for it everyday.

Bryce turned in her seat to look back at her nephew. "If your dad was here I'm sure he would have gotten you something even better."

I cringed at her hopeful words, but I knew she only said them to console the boy because we both knew his father was never coming back.

"Hey, you know what?" I spoke up again, remembering the old bmx bike I used to ride on through my neighborhood as a kid. "I've got this old bike that you could have. I'm sure it's still in my mother's garage somewhere."

"Really?!" Johnny's voice came out loud and squeaky as he stared up at me in awe.

"Yeah, I mean it may not be battery powered, but it's still something." I shrugged, feeling as though my bike was completely inadequate to his friend's mechanical car. "I can go search for it this weekend if you actually want it."

"Yes, yes, yes!!" He reached his hands up in the air and waved them around animatedly. "Thanks, Josh!"

Just then we pulled up outside the front entrance of his school. I pulled up close to the curb at the end of the line of cars, all there to drop off kids for the first day of school. I watched as children raced towards the front stairs of the tall bleak building before I turned slightly in my seat just as Bryce did next to me.

An odd feeling crept up inside me as I watched Bryce and her nephew interact. It somehow felt like we were our own little family and just that thought had my heart pounding in my chest. And for a split second I imagined doing this all over again in the future with my own son.