Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | twenty-seven

"The only difference between life and dying,
Is one is trying."

. . . . .

Cold wind nipped at my cheeks as I pressed one of the many photocopied fliers that Johnny had made to a telephone poll and stapled it against the wood. A flash of red caught my attention and instantly my heart leapt into my throat at the thoughts of my dreams.

I watched carefully as Bryce trotted ahead of me, taping a flier to a road sign a few feet away. The red scarf that she offered for me to wear at the Christmas party was wrapped snugly around her neck, the tassels at the ends blowing gently with the wind. Johnny stood next to her, holding tightly onto the stack of fliers like his life depended on it.

Bryce turned back to me with a smile. "You coming?"

"Yeah." I nodded in response as I came up next to the two and laid a hand on Johnny's shoulder, still trying to suppress the scenes from my dream the previous night.

He smiled up at me and handed me another piece of paper before doing the same to Bryce. I tilted my head and watched her for a brief second as she stared down at the intentionally messy drawing on the page.

"Why Twenty One Pilots?" Her voice was hoarse from the cold, but still sounded just as sweet to me.

"Well..." I turned from her as I prepared to staple the thin paper onto the next telephone poll we walked toward. "Basically to us, the meaning behind it is how ones choices can reflect on others. So it's having the ability to stop and think and make a decision, even if it's a hard one, that will in the long run help others and not just yourself."

"Hmm." Bryce looked from me to the flier and then back again. I wasn't sure if she really understood, but the tiny smile that appeared on her lips made me believe she did.

"It's perfect, I think. That name." Bryce nodded her head in conformation as Johnny wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed his face into her coat to keep warm. "You and Tyler obviously are very careful with your music and the message you want to put out. And your personalities-"

She paused as she thought over her words. "I get it. You do what you do because you love it, not because you get anything out of it."

I smiled widely at her, the cold air making the action hurt my cheeks, but I didn't care. She got it without me really having to explain, and that's what was important.

"It's cold!" Johnny broke our staring contests as he spoke up.

"Right, sorry, little dude." I turned my gaze down to the boy who stood below me. "Let's hurry with the rest of these and then I'll buy you a hot chocolate."

"Yes!" Johnny grinned happily as he raced toward the closest object we could attach a piece of paper to. "Let me do this one."

Bryce pulled a piece of tape from the roll and handed it to him as we stood outside the covered bus stop. I couldn't help myself as I stood closely behind Bryce, letting my fingers press lightly against her hip as I leaned my chin down against her shoulder.

We watched as Johnny stuck the paper against the cool glass before he ran the tape along the top edge. A smirk tugged at my lips as he tried to reach it up as high as he could, but still couldn't get it eyelevel with an average adults height.

I said nothing about it as I patted him on his head in applause. "Nice work."

My other hand left Bryce's waist as we continued on down the sidewalk, my phone buzzing in my pocket. I reached for it to see a text from Tyler telling me that him and Jenna had papered their sanctioned area. I text him back quickly and told him to meet us at my favorite local coffee shop for drinks.

"I think we're good here," I spoke as Bryce taped one last flier to a sign.

She turned to look up at me in question before she nodded in response. Johnny went running ahead of us as we made our way back toward my car.

"I'm proud of you for doing this." Bryce fell into step next to me, her hand wrapping itself around one of my own. "Are you excited?"

I breathed out a puff of air, the mist caused by the warm hitting cold disappeared almost instantly. "I'm trying to be."

My fingers of my free hand played anxiously with the edge of my beanie as I resituated the grey hat on my head. Since Bryce found out we had decided to attempt another show, all she had been telling me was how proud she was. It made my heart swell to the point of bursting and it was hard to contain the feeling around her when she smiled up at me the way she did.

"You're going to be great!" Bryce cheered happily as we finally made it to my car and we separated.

"Yeah!" Johnny confirmed just as enthusiastically as his aunt and I couldn't help but chuckle at the two. It was obvious to see how they were related.

I took a deep breath as we all climbed into the warmth of my car and away from the biting wind. I had made the choice to play another show, not because I wanted to, but because it felt like it needed to happen. I needed to get better and I needed to grow out of my anxieties. It was hard to be excited at first, but with Bryce's reassuring words and Tyler's enthusiasm, I could feel the anticipation start to grow. And for once I was ready. There wasn't a doubt in my mind.

.