Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | twelve

"Nothing kills a man faster than his own head."

. . . . .

"How are you feeling today?" Tyler asked cautiously as I walked into the living room on the morning of our first live show.

"Indifferent," I mumbled as I ran a hand through my hair and slumped down onto the couch next to him.

Tyler was quiet for a second before he spoke again. "Well I guess that's better than being scared, right?"

I only just glanced in his direction, not knowing how to answer him. He didn't need to know that I was indeed scared. That I was petrified of what would happen later that night and that I had been second-guessing the performance entirely. He didn't need to know about anything that ran through my head.

. . . . .

"Here. I got you something." Tyler slide from his spot on the counter next to me and disappeared from the kitchen.

I took another bite of my lunch as I tapped my heels against the lower cabinets. Tyler and I hadn't spoken much after our brief conversation earlier that morning and now there were only a few short hours left before we had to go to the bar and start setting up our gear. Tyler returned with a plastic bag and I watched him carefully as he pulled out what look to be a beanie from the bag and tossed it to me.

I caught it one-handed as I set my plate of food down on the counter next to me. The dark blue fabric was soft against my fingers as I held it out in front of me to inspect.

"What is it?" I asked as I looked up at him to see that he also held one just like it, but in white.

"It's a mask." There was a smile on his face as he spoke.

I flipped over what I had thought was a hat to see that it was in fact a ski mask. My fingers poked through the eye-holes as my eyebrows raised in confusion.

"I thought we could wear them for the first song tonight," Tyler chose his words thoughtfully. "Or for however long you need to before you feel comfortable with people watching you play."

A tiny smile formed on my lips as I stared down at the mask and Tyler continued to speak. "Think of it like a shield, you know? A barrier between you and all the eyes."

All the glowing eyes. I shut my eyes for a second as the darkness from my dreams started to creep up on me. Even though it was just a simple piece of cloth with some holes cut in it, it could still be what I needed to help get me through this. All I had to do was try.

"Thanks, Tyler." I smiled as big as I could to show him that I truly was appreciative of his gift.

"Is Bryce coming tonight?" He changed the subject quickly.

"Umm..." I gulped back my nervousness and nodded slightly. It had been three days since Tyler had hold me we would be performing live and it was that same day that I had asked Bryce if she would come.

Even though she made me anxious as hell, she was honestly the only support system I had besides Tyler and my family. But I hadn't even told them I was doing this. I didn't want any more added stress and that was exactly what my family would bring.

"Yeah, she's coming." I averted my eyes and thoughts back to my lunch as I picked up my sandwich and took a large bite out of it.

There was a pleased smile on Tyler's face as he too dropped the subject and went back to his meal.