Mr. Misty-Eyed | Josh Dun

reality | twenty-two

"Even when I doubt you,
I'm no good without you."

. . . . .

Everything ached as I shot up straight in bed, the blankets that had covered me pooled around my waist. My lungs felt hot as I gasped for air, beads of sweat dripping from my forehead. I shook uncontrollably as the feeling of suffocation was still apparent. My eyes were wide with fear as I racked my fingers through my hair.

My breath hitched in my throat and my shaking body tense for a split second as I felt a hand run along my spine. I whipped my head to the right, to see Bryce sitting up in bed next to me and it was then that I realized where I was. Guilt washed over me as her tired eyes looked back at me.

"Hey, you're okay." Her warm skin against mine felt good as her fingers continued to run over my back. "It wasn't real. It was just a dream."

Bryce's voice was low and soothing, but the burning sensation in my lungs told me that my dream still had influence over my reality. My shoulders hunched over further as I cringed in thought of my nightmare. I just wanted to be normal.

Without another word Bryce crawled off the bed and tiptoed out of the room. As my breaths became less staggered, I took a moment to looked up and out through the window next to her bed. The sun was just barely peeking up from behind the city buildings in the distance and I knew then that it was still very early in the morning. I must have only gotten a few hours of sleep.

My eyes shot toward the door as it opened and shut once again. I watched as Bryce came over with a glass of water in hand and more guilt hit me. I remembered how Tyler had done the same thing so many times before this and I felt helpless, as though I couldn't take care of myself.

"Drink." She said as she placed the glass between my still shaking hands.

I only took a few sips before setting the glass down on the tiny table next to the bed. By this time Bryce had already climbed back onto the bed, her droopy eyes watching me carefully as I fell back against the pillows.

I didn't look at her. I didn't want to. Really I just wanted to leave, run away so she couldn't see how embarrassed I felt for being the way that I was. But I didn't move, because my want to be close to her seemed to overpower that feeling.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." I winced at the hoarseness of my voice after I had finally spoken up.

Bryce was quiet, and after a long silence I turned to look in her direction. Her eyes were half closed as she propped her head up with her elbow and just stared back at me. I was surprised when a light smile appeared in her face and she shook her head at my words.

"I don't mind." Her sleepy voice sounded so sweet and I let my eyelids flutter shut for only a second.

Bryce's fingers ran lightly over my jaw line and my eyes just barely opened again as her lips met the corner of my mouth in tender kiss. My hand came up to grip her wrist as I let out a shaky breath, perfectly content the racing of my heart and my flushed cheeks. Bryce was such a wonderful distraction from the dark thoughts that swirled around in my brain.

It was odd how quickly we became comfortable with each other, it had really only been a few weeks, but the feeling of her lips on mine made it seem like I had been kissing her for a lifetime or more.

No more words were spoken as she laid her head against my chest, letting her hand slide down until it rested against my hip. I concentrated on the relaxed feeling her touch gave me and I already felt myself start to drift in and out of consciousness.