The New Guy

Talk with Toni

Gil's POV

Toni and I walked into my house only to find it empty. A note on the coffee table at least gave me a hint that Luddy clearly got better or Feli forced him to his house. Such a shame too. I couldn't wait until Toni would see how big my great little brother got. Toni could only pat my shoulder and give me a warm reassuring smile. I felt far too tired to really do much more of anything.

I quickly showed him to the room I had prepared for him after the news. I told him I was going to go shower. And I let him settle his things on his own while I went to the bathroom. 

The warm water was so very needed. I was absolutely exhausted from all the socializing I had to do today. I was not prepared for any of it. Then it hit me like a goddamn plane crash.

I was in Matt's house today in a totally unplanned visit. I thank the rain for such a gift yet also resent it for almost causing me to mentally break down in front of everyone. Damn the rain for being so polarizing. 

Despite being so tired and slightly embarrassed, I felt content. Like it was all worth that hell for that small moments with Matt. Before and after that whole mess. Is it bad that I like it when it's just us? I mean, we bounce off of each other well making each conversation make the worst day seem like the best. It as if we could keep going for hours talking about stupid shit. And I wouldn't mind spending a whole day just talking to him, one on one with no interruptions. It feels like selfish thing to want. Almost greedy. 

I'm definitely losing it. 

~

"You really like him, huh?" Toni said almost making me drop the kettle. 

"What do you mean?" I glanced at him as I set the kettle back on the stove after pouring the boiling water into two mugs. 

"That Matthew," I grabbed two tea bags from the box in the top cabinet. "you really like him, don't you?" 

"He's pretty cool, I guess."

"No, no, there's more to it isn't there?"

"What are you talking about?" I looked at him, completely confused. 

"You're falling for him, aren't you?"

"Wha-" I couldn't help my voice going up an octave. "No!" Or my chest tightening at such an idea. "You're insane." Or the idea actually having quite a bit of evidence to back it up. 

"Oh, come on, you two bicker like a married couple." He smiled as if reminiscing an old memory even though what he was talking about literally happened hours ago. "And I don't think I've seen you so damn happy to be around someone in years." 

"You seem to have a really distorted view of the past, Toni." I grabbed the mugs, handing one over to him. 

"Yeah, but I know full well that you haven't been that happy around someone since Rod." 

"I'm happy around you and Francis." 

"Yeah, but anyone else?" I thought about it for a moment. He was right, I'm never happy around many people anymore. Rod was catalyst for that but there's more to it that Toni would never get. 

"What's your point?"

"My point is that you're definitely falling for Matthew." 

"I'm not." I took a swig of the tea. 

"Bullshit." He frowned. Not much of a rare to thing to me anymore. I piss him off a lot more than I should. "I know full well what you're like when you're falling for someone and this is no different."