The New Guy

emotions are ridiculous

Gil's POV

I was on the last few pages of The Order of the Phoenix when my phone notification rang. I ignored it because my reading is far more important than whatever that could be. My only guess was that it was Francis texting me something stupid. It chimed again. And again I ignored it. Then it started ringing. I ignored it again. A brief silence blissfully filled my room. Then it rang again. It was really starting to get on my nerves.

With a groan, I reached for my phone as the ring tone stopped. Two missed calls from Matt. Along with two texts from him. The phone lit up again and the ringing started up again. I answered this time.

"Matt?" I asked.

"Oh-thank-God." He mumbled. He took a deep breath. "Gil, I'm at your front door."

"Oh."

"Could you let me in? Please." His voice was noticeably quieter than usual.

"Why haven't you knocked?" I moved the book from my lap and got up from my bed.

"I was nervous. It's like ten at night on a Monday, it's weird."

"Give me second, alright."

"Okay." He hung up and I near rolled down the stairs from how fast I ran. I practically slammed against the door as I slid to a stop. Somehow, I managed to open it quietly and I was greeted to this look if utter despair on him. He was visibly shaking and he looked about ready to cry.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really?"

"It's a yes or no question, Matt."

"No." He looked down ashamed.

"Okay, get inside, it's cold." I moved to let him in. He hesitated before walking in. The door clicked as I closed it and locked it. "So, why did you come to my house?"

"I don't know." He didn't look at me, keeping his back to me. "This is just the first place I thought to go." He made his way to couch while I followed behind. Even when he sat down, he only looked down. "I couldn't really go anywhere else and I couldn't stand being home."

"That's kind of odd." I sat down right next to him, watching him.

"I know-except I don't-I don't know anything anymore." He sighed leaning his head into his hands. His arms propped onto his legs as one footed tapped anxiously. "My life's a goddamn mess."

"You want to explain why?"

"No." His voice cracked. "I just-" He cut himself off with a small choking sound and a quiet sob. "I'm sorry." He choked out.

I'm not very good around people who are crying. It makes me nervous because I'm never sure what to do. I'm afraid that I'll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. So, I sat there, frozen in place as Matt quietly sobbed. It hurt to just sit there and watch but what was I to do? I didn't even know what had him so upset. It would be almost impossible. How do people not panic over this? I could say anything here. The problem was that it could be wrong.

I quietly sighed. It was worth a try though.

"Matt." I said. His leg stilled. "Take a breath." He took this hiccup of a breath at first. Then another longer and shaky breath. "You're alive, you're breathing, your not starving. You're fine right now. Forget the outside world for a moment, alright." A sniffle or two later and he was uncurled, sinking into the couch. He looked tired but way calmer.