I Need You | Taehyung

seulmulset : sickness

Younghee's POV

He walked out and left me stranded. Nothing is left but the picture frames and I'm just keeping on asking myself only one question.

"how'd we drift so far away from where we left off yesterday?"

Now, I'm lonely like a castaway.

My heart is constantly breaking and yet I can't do anything about it. I realized that breaking of heart is not  a metaphor, it causes actual physical pain. My chest hurts, there is a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, and severe headaches from all the crying.

My whole body has shut down.

Instead of going outside from my own little darkness world, I just laid down on the bed hugging his hoodie, missing his scent, his actions, his touch, his everything.

I miss you, Kim Taehyung.

I can't stop crying, I miss him so much, I want to return to where we were before but that didn't seem possible.

He didn't even let me say a word, I can't even explain every single thing to him and even if I did, I didn't think that he would believe me.

I'm afraid to go to school, I'm afraid to face him and everyone else. He has always been there when I need him, now that he's gone, I'm scared.

I glanced at the floor to see a pack of cigarette there, trying to remember how many did I smoke last night. It must have been a lot.

Finally, I woke up from my bed still hugging his hoodie. I started crying again; my eyes are all swollen but I don't care.

I reached up for a new pack of cigarette and smoked again. The moment I started to smoke, I coughed hard and this time blood kept increasing. I used a tissue to wipe the blood and started to smoke again.

I don't know what's going on with me but I guess I won't be able to live that long.

For a few hours, my bell rang and I choked, throwing all the cigarettes away. Is it my uncle?

I started to wipe my eyes while walking to the door. I opened it to see Jimin in his uniform, standing there looking at me weakly.

Instead of feeling angry or getting my blood boiled, I just felt weak and tired to say anything to him. I couldn't utter a word and my eyes kept producing more tears as I thought about what happened in the hotel − that leads to this disaster.

"Younghee ..." He called me, but my eyes can't seem to cooperate with me at the moment. My vision became all blurry; I could only hear unclear voices from him.

A few seconds later, I felt my body on the ground hardly and I couldn't see or hear anything anymore.

                                   •••

I opened my eyes to see myself laying down on my own bed, with a wet towel on my forehead. I tried to wake up slowly though my body is tearing me apart.

"Younghee," Jimin called out silently while sitting down on the bed. "Are you okay now?" He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

i'm not okay.

I looked at his face once to only see Taehyung's face coming back to me so I shook my head twice.

I looked at Jimin's face once again to see his weak side flashing back to me. He must've remembered the thing last night.

"Jimin ... Tell me why did things turn out this way..?" I muffled sobs avoiding his gaze but he just pulled me closer, hugging me.

"I'm so sorry, I must've been stupid and seriously drunk to do that." His voice started to shake when he caressed my hair slowly. "I should clear things out, shouldn't I?" He whispered and I shook my head that laid on his chest.