Secrets

Chapter 4

Hey guys after this update I won't be able to update for at least a week because in like a week I go home in a 21 hour flight and when I get home I start school so yeah sorry! I promise ill update again but not soon.- Sarina

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I woke up to Niall's slow heartbeat, I slowly got out of his warm embrace, accidentally waking him up in the process. "Morning Maria." He said with a half smile, still adjusting to the light as he rubbed his eyes. He looked like a little child, and he still had his husky morning voice that melted my heart. "Morning, I'm hungry!" I said as my stomach rumbled. "Let's go eat, then we can head to the beach." Niall suggested as I nodded in reply.

We finished eating at iHop and walked back to the hotel to change. I changed into my hot pink, two piece bikini and wore a t-shirt and shorts on top. I put my hair in a pony tail so I could get it out of my face and I was ready to go. When I walked back into the bedroom, Niall was in his trunks and a tank top. "Ready?" He asked as I nodded in reply. I was extremely insecure about my body, so I hesitated when we got to the beach to take off my clothing. "Are you gonna get in the water or what?" Niall chuckled, finding my shyness amusing. I slowly took off my t-shirt, then pulled off my shorts, Niall starring the whole time which wasn't helping at all. "Let's just get in the water." I quickly said, he was still starring up and down my body. "Yeah alright." He finally replied. We splashed each other with water a couple of times before I decided I wanted to go deeper. I swam deeper into the water until the water reached my chest, that's when I noticed Niall following me closely. "Something wrong?" I asked. "No I just want to make sure you're okay, it's kinda deep don't ya think?" Niall asked, was he actually concerned for me? I don't like it when people care about me, it scares me to think someone out there is worried for me, or is concerned for my health. Sooner or later I will die, it's a fact that I accepted. All the people that cared about me... I just don't want people to care because one day I will die and then what? I don't want people to suffer because of me, they don't deserve it. "It's okay Niall, I'm not a baby." I snapped, I can be a little mean sometimes... "Right, sorry." He mumbled, as he looked down in the water. I shook my head realizing how mean I sounded. "Niall no that's not what I meant, I'm sorry." I quickly said. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand, giving me chills with his every touch. He lead me back into the sand and we decided to make a sand castle, or at least I was. Niall was too busy starring at me to do anything.

I had just come out of the shower, after the beach. It was so fun here, having no responsibilities and forgetting everything. When I'm with Niall I forget about what's going in my life at the moment, and I forget my past, something I've tried to do so many times but failed. He taught me how to live again, to be carefree and just be myself. I don't know what these feelings are called but I think I like Niall...a little more than I should. I sat on the hotel couch and turned the TV on, surfing through the channels when Niall came in with a towel around his waist as he dried his hair with a smaller towel. I drooled as I stared at him, I felt like such a creep. "Are you gonna stop starring?" Niall teased, with a smug grin on his face, I blushed at his words as I shook my head. He came and sat next to me on the couch, looking at the current channel i had left it. "Are you going to change any time soon?" I joked, poking his bare chest, man he had an amazing body. "Not planning on it." He said with a smirk as he poked me back. After Niall finally changed he offered to take me to see the sunset, apparently a sunset is something you 'need' to see, as Niall explained to me. "Look, it's happening." Niall whispered in my ear, pointing to the sun. It was slowly backing down, with red, orange and purple glowing behind it. It was truly magical. "This is amazing..." I whispered, I was too caught up on the sunset to notice how close Niall and I were standing next to each other. I could hear him breathe. I wasn't ready for any of this. I felt things for Niall that I didn't know I could even feel anymore but, I just wasn't ready and I don't know if I would ever be. I have been mentally scarred and broken and I doubt that a girl like me can be fixed. I don't know if I can love again. "We should get back to the hotel." I quickly responded before Niall did anything. "Yeah sure if you want to." He shrugged as he led me back to the hotel.

I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth as Niall did the same, mirroring my actions. "Aren't you going to bed?" Niall asked as he watched me sitting by the balcony with a cup of tea. "No, I think I'll just sit here and think for a while." I said, trying to form a smile. "Alright then, ill think with you." Niall said, smiling back at me as he took a seat next to me on the balcony. We just stared at the ocean view in silence. "I'm sorry for trying to kiss you, even though you weren't ready." Niall whispered, looking into my green eyes with his beautiful blue ones. "It's okay, I wasn't ready that's all." I replied with a true smile this time. "I don't know what it is about you, but I feel like there is more to you than what I already know." Niall said, as I took a sip of my hot tea. "I have a complicated life." I whispered, looking at the ocean as I played with my fingers, nervous to what he would ask next. "Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered back, he wouldn't care anyways, no one really did. The only person who knows the real me is Louis, and that's because I grew up with him. No one would understand, and no one would care enough to try to know me. I shook my head. "There's nothing to talk about." I replied, taking another sip of my tea. We sat in silence for a bit, just listening to the ocean waves as I finished my tea. "I'm going to bed." I whispered, getting out of my seat. "I think I'll stay a little longer." Niall replied, as I nodded in reply. I hopped in bed, slowly drifting to sleep.