Secrets

Chapter 14

THAAAANK YOUUU SO MUCH FOR 400 READS WOOOOW!!!! -Sarina

-----

I had just walked home from a long day at work, thank goodness today was pay day. I needed some new heels and maybe a few undergarments, and Julie offered to come along. When I arrived home I changed into something more comfortable but casual and walked out of my apartment. I was supposed to meet Julie by Victorias Secret.

Once I got there I saw her in front I the store sitting on a bench waiting for me. When she saw me she gave me a friendly wave and walked over to me.

"Hey, ready to shop?" She asked and I nodded as we both entered the store. The lady at the front desk gave us a welcoming smile as we looked through the racks of undergarments.

"This would be perfect for you and Niall." Julie teased, handing me a bra that was clearly see through and showed too much skin. My face turned red at her remark and I quickly put it away. "You're such a pervert." I joked, looking through the different body lotions. "But seriously, have you and Niall done anything yet..?" She asked me, humor in her eyes. "No! Of course not!" I exclaimed. "I have waited a long time for the right moment and I'm sure Niall won't pressure me into giving up my virginity that easily." I explained, walking over to the perfume section as Julie followed behind. "Ugh you're no fun." She teased.

The day went by fast and I was home before I knew it. I was watching a movie on Netflix when I heard my phone vibrate. I unlocked it to see who had texted me.

Niall- feeling lonely. Can u come over?

Even though it's only been like eight ours without seeing each other I did miss him. It's strange how I can't go on an hour without him, it's almost as if I'm in lov- no! Snap out of it Maria, you built your walls strong and high, and you're not gonna break them down for no one. I quickly replied to the text.

Maria- I came over last time, u can come instead xx.

I walked into the bathroom to wash my face of the make up on it. After splashing it with water and scrubbing my face with face wash I dried it with a towel and walked back into the living room to find Niall sitting on the couch. "Your door was unlocked." He answered my question before I could ask. "Oh, well hi." I said, taking a seat next to him and looking for a good movie to watch.

I could sense Niall starring at me as we watched our movie, so I finally turned to face him. "Is something wrong?" I asked. He seemed stressed, so I placed my hand on his, reassuring him everything will be fine, whatever the problem is. I stared into his beautiful eyes, waiting for a reply. He let out a deep breath. "Actually no, there's something I should tell you, something I should have told you." He said, he seemed almost afraid, which made me worry. What was going on?

"What is it?" I asked after a few seconds of complete silence. "The night I first asked you out, I went and saw Louis... And asked him to tell me why you were so... So afraid." He said, I could feel the headache starting to form, the memories flooding in, I can see where he is going with this. "I know about Jason." He finally let it out, like it was something that has been bothering him.

To be honest I wasn't mad, even though I should have been because this is a complete invasion of my privacy, but for some reason, I'm almost glad he found out. I figured I had to tell him sooner or later and since he already knows I don't have to go through the trouble. "Are you mad? Because if you are I completely understand." He whispered, waiting for my reaction to all of this. "Well there isn't much to say, I'm not mad I guess." I said, my voice cracking. Whenever someone mentions my past I feel this heavy feeling in my chest, like I'd explode any minute. Niall gave me a gentle kiss, his lips lingered on mine for a few moments before looking back at me. "I really am sorry Maria, but I did it for you. I understand that what you went through was hard but you need to move on, and learn to love again." He said, and I could feel the tears forming. I shook my head a no. "No, you don't understand. That's the problem Niall, everyone just thinks they understand me, they understand my life, like they know what I'm going through. They don't, and no, I can't just move on, it's not that simple." I say, my time changing Into an angry tone. "Well what do you plan on doing exactly? I know it seems hard to forget everything especially with what happened to your mother but you can't just keep locking your self out of the real world." Niall said, as I stood up. I was extremely angry now, how could he just think it's all that simple. "Why do you even care? You've only known me for like a month and I know you're just putting on that fake "nice guy" act just to get me into your bedroom!" I yelled, falling to the floor and starting to cry. "Is this what you thing our relationship is about? That I see you are a fucking game?! Look at yourself Maria! You've pushed away Louis and now your boyfriend?" He yelled back, making me cringe, I've never seen Niall like this, and I don't like this side of him.

I stood back up to walk into the bedroom but Niall grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, giving me a tight embrace, making me instantly regret yelling at him. I finally got out of his embrace and looked at him for a few moments. "Niall, I really like you, and I hope you know that, but I'm broken. When things are broken, they can't be fixed. I'm tok afraid to love, and there is no possible way to have a stable relationship with someone like me." I explained, I had to break up with him, even though I liked him more than I've liked anyone for the past three years. "No Maria, I can help you heal, I-I I love you." He whispered. I froze at his words. This is all too fast, no he doesn't love me. He is just saying that. But maybe he does? Maybe he actually cares about me and want to spend his future with me. No, Maria you are just being stupid, he's just saying that.

"Say something." Niall whispered, Desperate for an answer. "I'm going to bed" I said, walking into the bedroom and going under the covers.

I heard the front door shut, and that was it.

The tears just wouldn't stop, what have I done? I couldn't stop sobbing.

I felt terrible.