Secrets

Chapter 10

Okay sorry for the last chapter it was really crappy and had no meaning what so ever but hey I got seventy reads!!!! -Sarina

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It's been a week since we came back from Ohio, and I've been quite distant with everyone. Even Louis. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel like I'd rather be alone than see my friends. Even though I've been ignoring everyone Niall has been so kind to me, knowing how miserable I must feel. Just two days ago Niall had walked in on one of my "break downs", and made me see a therapist once a week. He thinks that will help me, even though I completely doubt anything will help me. So far I've met with the therapist once, and I'm supposed to see her again today. Her name is Ms. McCarthy, and she's a nice middle aged woman, who is a very good listener.

I walked through the busy streets until I finally got to her office near the book store. I sat in the patients waiting room until it was my turn, flipping through magazines until they called my name. I slowly got up and walked into her office with a slight smile, trying to be nice. "Good morning Maria! Come on in, take a seat." She said with a smile. I smiled back and took a seat, with my legs crossed and my arms resting on my knees. "So last week we talked about how the death of a family member can be challenging, today I want to know you better. You can start off by telling me about your past." She said, taking out a note pad and a pen. I took in a deep breath as I nodded. "Well I was born and raised in Akron Ohio. I was a smart kid in school, tried hard. I had a good amount of friends I guess." I said as she nodded and scribbled on her notepad. "Now as I recall, you explained that you felt alone now, because of your mothers lack of presence?" She asked and I nodded. "Why don't you tell me how your parents were like when you were growing up." She said with a smile as I nodded in reply. "My mom and dad didn't get along very well. My dad would always try to persuade my mother into letting me move in with him, he loved me." I whispered, all of this was so hard to talk about. It just made me realize how I missed him so much. Ms. McCarthy took a few notes then looked back at me. "Sometimes when a child grows up in this kind of situation they become more introverted or scared of being alone. You feel this way because your entire life you were either with your dad or mom, never staying in the same place." She explained and I nodded.

After thirty more minutes of talking I came out of her office, Niall waiting to pick me up like last time. I got in his car and said hi to him as I buckled up my seat belt. "How was therapy?" He asked, holding my hand with one hand as he steered with the other. I just shrugged at his question. "It was okay." I mumbled, looking out the window. Niall let out a sigh as he drove away from the office and into the busy streets of New York. "Where are we going? This isn't my house." I asked, as Niall made a right turn. "Louis wanted to talk to you, and I think you need him right now more than a therapist." Niall said, looking at me for a moment before breaking contact and going back to his driving. I let out a sigh, I wanted to be alone for a while, not that I don't appreciate Niall's presence. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm taking up so much of his time that he doesn't even have time for his own life.

After Niall dropped me off I went up to Louis's level and knocked on his door. "Hey! Come in." He said with a gentle smile. I smiled back and walked inside, taking a seat on his couch. He walked near me and took a seat next to me, gently rubbing my back. "Listen, what happened to your mother was hard on me just as much as you. I know your still going through the pain but Maria we can't help you unless you're willing to communicate with us. You know you can trust me and Niall is also a great guy, but you can't keep locking yourself out of the real world." Louis whispered, as I nodded, tears streaming down my face. "You don't know how I feel, you're not going through what I'm going through." I said, Louis looked at me, looking a little hurt. "...no, of course not, I wouldn't know now would I?" He said, his voice cracking a bit. "No Louis I'm sorry, you know that's not what I meant I-" he cut me off before I could finish. "You know Maria, if you keep locking the people that care about you out of your world, you'll end up alone." He whispered, as he got up and opened the front door. "I never asked for you guys to care." I spat, getting a bit annoyed. Why should be care about my problems? "You don't ask for people to care Maria! They choose to care because they love you!" He screamed, making me flinch. He cleared his throat and pointed to the door. "I think it's best if you leave." He whispered as I walked out, slamming the door shut.

I was so angry with Louis, but as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I can't keep rejecting everyone, especially Niall. If I care about him I can't just leave gums stranded like this. I care too much for him and he cares about me.