In Love With Him: Kai Parker

21

There was silence for a few seconds until I screamed again. "Kai!"

I felt all of my remaining energy be sucked out of me as my scream slowly drifted off. My mouth remained open and I couldn't tear my eyes off of his lifeless body in front of me.

This is my fault. My mind repeated over and over again. Why didn't I lie? That way, Kai would be here still.

At that moment I couldn't even feel the vervain burning and blistering my skin as I leaned forward to just stare at something I never thought I'd ever see. Though, my heart was still and no longer beat, for a second I could have sworn to feel it move, more accurately shatter.

Kai. My Kai, he was gone. He wasn't coming back like the prison world.

He was gone forever.

"That must hurt." Julian said, I didn't look at him, closing my mouth and averting my gaze at my lap. I heard his footsteps and felt his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off me, but he merely placed it back, his voice in my ear. "I guess you could flip it." His voice sent a chill down my spine. "Feel nothing and live in blissful ignorance instead of feeling everything." His words did seem convincing but I didn't reply. "The pain, the sorrow, the loss and the guilt knowing that you could have saved him and in fact be in his arms right now."

I blinked, feeling a couple of tears trail down my face. "Burn in hell." I uttered under my breath, my voice was croaky from crying.

Julian hummed. "What was that?" He leaned in even closer until his face was inches from mine. I lifted up my gaze ever so slightly to meet his.

"Burn in hell." I repeated, then dropped my gaze back to my lap.

Julian chuckled. "Like your beloved Kai right now." His words hurt more than the vervain. He stood up straight and I heard him walk out of the room. Mary Louise had already gone so it was just me, alone with Kai's body.

I inhaled a shaky breath, lifting up my head to see him again but my tears has already blurred my vision. My bottom lip quivering restlessly.

His head hung down low in front of him with a hole in his chest of where his heart should have been, instead it laid on the ground by his feet. Blood soaked and coated his clothes.

"I'm so sorry Kai." I whispered in a sob. "I'm sorry."

For a little while I just sobbed again, it was the only sound in the room and I would have given anything to hear Kai's voice make an appearance.

When I felt calmer, I pressed my toes onto the ground and began to push myself backwards. The pain in which the vervain added didn't seem coherent in my mind and I stared at my feet, with every push exerting more strength.

Soon gravity took over and I fell backwards onto the laminated floor. I gasped in pain at the sudden impact, my head smacked the floor first, though I heard parts of the chair break in the process. I blinked a couple of times to adjusting my spinning vision and felt I had one hand now free. I groaned in pain as I yanked out the piece of wood which was still lodged into my other hand before freeing myself of the vervain laced ropes.

I stumbled up to my feet but walked over to Kai, as I got closer it became harder to look at him. I leaned down so my head was levelled with his, slowly bringing my shaking hands to cup his face. I was used to his cold complexion but somehow it felt even colder then. I lifted up his head, his eyes shut and his mouth open ajar. I sniffled away a sob and planted a small kiss on his forehead.

"I'm so sorry, Kai." I said against his forehead, i sobbed silently. "I love you." I kissed his forehead again then his cheeks before my lips met his.

"I'm so sorry." I rested my forehead on his, moving one hand down to his chest wound. I sniffled again, wincing when I felt the hole on his chest.