Drowning in fake smiles,
Waiting on a hopeless dream.
No one ever realizing
Because to them
I probably seem
Just the same as always.
I'm completely fine,
Until the door closes
Just in the nick of time.
I let the tears fall,
And then all the walls
I've built in secret
Come crashing down
On top of me.
It's getting hard to breathe
But please don't save me.
I smile,
Not because I don't need your help,
But because I don't want to drag you
down.
I laugh,
Not because someone cracks a joke,
But because I'm trying not to frown.
I listen,
Not because I care about your
problems,
But because they help me
to forget my own.
I nod,
Not because I agree,
But because if I don't,
my cover'll be blown.
What I want to do is glare at the world
every time I'm in a bad mood.
Laugh when I am criticized
for having a bad attitude.
Disagree and not be afraid
of being too negative.
To veer off my designated path
and for once, just choose
to live.
What I actually do is
freeze a smile on my face,
Ignore the facts I can't erase.
Agree with the world
and keep the peace,
All the while knowing
this isn't me.
Im afraid they won't like
The girl behind the mask.
I'd be happy to unveil her,
But no one ever asks.
So for now,
I'll smile and say that I'm fine,
But one day in the future
There may come a time
When this life I'm leading isn't enough
And I realize the world
might be too tough,
And while change might seem
too scary right now,
Maybe then, I'll feel
like it's safe to allow,
Others to see the me that's inside,
The one I can't seem to help but hide.
Maybe it'll happen one day
but please,
If nothing ever happens,
don't try to save me.
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The Things I Leave Unsaid
PoetryMy thoughts in poems. I'm not suicidal or even truly unhappy. I'm just confused and lost and I hope someone out there understands. These are the everyday thoughts I have that float around in my mind. This is my life, in poems. I like my poems and I...