The Things I Leave Unsaid

47. Do You Love Yourself?

Hey. I've been writing some pretty depressing shit but at least it's true and hopefully you get it. I just want you guys to be clear on something.

When I write these negative, depressing things, I'm not trying to make you feel down and negative like the poem. I'm trying to make you realize what's happening and help you to realize you don't want to be acting like this anymore. I want you to find inspiration in these words I write to fix the things that are wrong.

Life sucks. But if you try, you can work through it and feel alright again. If you're sad and gloomy, it's your own fault. No one truly has to feel that way unless you have like clinical depression or something like that, which no, is not common, nor is being bipolar or any of those other diagnoses shitloads of people spout about having.

Just a random little fact: only around a fifth of people who take anti-depressants and were diagnosed with depression actually are, according to studies. The rest may only be sad and angry and upset which is normal for humans to feel. 
And for that 1/5, I feel for them and sympathize.
But as for the rest, you can do much better.

What many people don't realize is, normal people get sad too. I know, shocking, right? We all get angry and irritable and upset and we go nuts over little stupid things sometimes, but it doesn't mean anything other than we are human. No human being on earth is really completely happy. Not one. I'd lay down my life on that statement. But no human is really completely unhappy either no matter what you think. It's not possible.

We're all a mixture of good and bad, and it's completely up to you to choose which to be more of.

And just so you know, if you aren't actively trying to get better and just for yourself trying to find ways to be happier, or if you're exaggerating your sadness and hardships to others, then you don't deserve any sympathy and something is wrong with you. And no, I don't mean mentally wrong. I mean that's a very childish thing to do and you should begin learning to stop acting like that. Don't fret, most people do it. You can have a second chance. It's not too late to change. Just don't do it anymore.
I know way too many people who do this and I used to be one of them but I'm not anymore.

Everyday I struggle to be myself and tell the truth and and not judge and not exaggerate things and not be rude and mean and awful and everyday I fail, but if I fail a little bit less than the day before than that's good for me because that's progress. No one gets all better in a day. I'm trying to be a good person.

You should try too, and make sure it's not for anyone else but yourself.

*Because you should be the most important person in your life, no matter what everyone says about your lover being the most important or your mom or dad or sis or brother or cat or dog or whoever, the one you should know best and care for most is yourself.
People romanticize the idea of putting others' lives before their own way too much. It's easy to do that really when you actually think about it. I'm sure we all can think of at least one person who we'd put above ourselves in a life-or-death situation, probably more than one. Maybe you'd even put a stranger's life over yours. But who can say they care enough about themselves and who they are to put themselves first?
It's not about being selfish. It's about knowing your own true worth.

And not too many really accept the fact that they are worth just as much as anyone else around them and therefore deserve to be saved as much as anyone they hold dear.

I believe in every last one of you and that's the truth. Now it's your turn to start believing too.