My Best Friend's Girl

Thirteen

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MATT

My thoughts keep wandering back to Alex after our talk, how empty she seemed. Was it because of me? What was it? I know I needed to give her space for us to be able to friends, if she needed me, she would come and talk to me. I hope she would at least.

I'm glad I finally cleared the air with her, that we're friends. It was extremely difficult to even form words when I told her what I thought we should do, I thought she'd want nothing to do with me. Why would she? I've done nothing but hurt her.

It's not like I ever meant to, I really didn't. I just be didn't know how to be around her after all of this time. I completely fell for her last summer, in every way. With the way she laughed at my dumb jokes and puns, how her long hair flowed along her back, skimming my skin every once in awhile, every detail about her perfect being. I hadn't felt like that about anyone in so long, I didn't know how to handle it when it was time for us to part ways. I was a coward, I left her without even saying a word. No wonder she hated me when Luke and I first came back.

Little did she know, ever since last summer, all I've been trying to do is move on. It's obvious I've been completely failing at it, but not for a lack of trying. I can't even tell you how many girls I've been with in the past year, how many bottles of vodka that have heard about my aching heart because of her. I know it's my fault, just like our whole situation is, I just don't know what to do about it.

I guess that's why I've had such a lack of self control around her, why I've screwed up so much recently. I just want to forget. I want to forget how she made me feel, how she kissed my troubles away and became my safe haven. I guess it's just tough to break old habits. But I promised her, and myself, I'd be better. I'd be there for her, be her friend, whatever she needed me to be. And that's exactly what I plan to do, whatever it takes.

I check my phone to see if I've heard anything from Luke, and I see that I've missed three calls and a voicemail from my mom. I haven't even called her or went over to see her since I've been back, I'm such an ass. I put the phone to my ear and listen to her voicemail.

"Hey, sweetie! I hope you had fun on your trip, I know you're probably busy so I just wanted to remind you that Aunt Sarah's wedding is this Saturday, so she's expecting you to be there. It's going to be at the Plaza Harbor at 3pm, so don't be late. Oh and honey, don't forget to bring a date! And yes Matt, you have to. I love you."

Aunt Sarah's wedding? Shit, I completely forgot. My mom had told me about it a few months ago, and I told her I would bring someone. There was no way I was getting out of this.

But who would I bring? Alex? Nah, that'd be too weird and one thing may lead to another causing more trouble. I could bring Savannah, but she probably hates me from not returning her calls. Maybe Jess? She seemed cool, but I'm pretty sure she had our wedding planned by the time we slept together. No thanks.

I slow my thinking as I relax on the couch, trying to come up with a date. I guess I could invite Alex just to be polite and try out the whole 'friends' thing. Maybe it would somehow show her I'm moving on but inviting her as a friend or that I have no romantic feelings towards her. Or at least make it seem that way.

I smile at my cleverness and ponder on if she would agree to come. Shit.

I have to come up with some way to ask her and not sound like a lovesick idiot.

ALEX

"Hey cinnamon. What's up?" I said into my phone as I raised it to my ear, trying to somewhat clean my room at the same time.