Love and Tragedy.

Chapter 12

Alex

I dressed my baby for the first time, I dressed her in a fancy little black dress and some white socks. I then strapped her into her car seat and Mer rolled the oxygen tank along. 

 We drove to the building were people could see her and talk about her with everyone there. 

"Are you ready?" Mer asked me "I will be." I said as I opened the car door to get out. We had a car full of kids and me and Mer started helping them out. "Zola mommy has to hold Ellis will you hold Bailey's hand?" she asked the oldest "Can do mommy." she said giving her a big smile and Mer smiled back. I helped Bailey out of his car seat and put him on the ground "Go hold Zola's hand bud." I said givving him a little push to go to the other side of the car and he walked around. Meredith got out Ellis and I got out my baby and her oxygen. 

I looked at all of us looking like a really sad family all dressed in black and Mer smiled at me reassuringly and I gave her a sad smile back. "Let's go everyone." I said smiling at all the kids and we started to head for the doors. 

We walked in and almost everyone turned and looked I would have probably ran out of the door right then but Mer's hand was on my back pushing me along. She pushed me all the way to the front row seats, I sat down and she sat Bailey right next to me with Zola on the other side of him and Mer sat on the other side of me holding Ellis. She sat Ellis on the ground and I asked her to hold my baby, she took her and I wiped my hands on my pants and let out a big breath. 

I stood up and walked towards the coffin, I walked up the steps and my legs shook along with my hands. I walked right up and looked at her, I looked at her face and thought she was beautiful, she was dead and still so gorgeous. I looked at her hands and touched them, they were cold and I thought about how they were always warm and she could always warm my hands with hers. I thought about all the memories we have had.

I stroked her hair "I miss you Jo." I said feeling the tears start to build in my eyes. "Our daughter is beautiful she looks just like you." I told her "When she gets older I'll tell her all about her mommy sorry I pushed you to do the surgery I thought I wouldn't loose you, I thought you would be okay." I admitted "I'm sorry. I love you so much and I will try to raise our daughter the best I can." I said to her and I realized that I had started crying.

I walked back down and sat in my seat with our daughter in my arms and the service started. Stephanie talked and so did Callie because she had spent a lot of time with her and they had gotten close. I knew I wouldn't be able to talk so I just let other people do that.

The service was over and we went to the graveyard to bury Jo. Right before they closed her coffin I put the baby's sock in her hand and I took her wedding ring to show the baby when she got older and also I just wanted it because that was the last thing she wore before she had died. I put it in my pocket and the closed the coffin and lowered her down into the ground.

We left and Meredith dropped me off at the hospital. "I have to take my kids home and Maggie is coming to the house in a little bit to watch the kids and i'll come by." Meredith told me "Its okay, you can stay with your kids." I told her "Alex they'll be sleeping they wont care." she said "Uncle Alex It's fine we really don't mind." Zola said and smiled at me "Well if you say so." I said giving her a smile back. 

I smiled at Meredith and walked into the hospital with the baby in her car seat and went straight for the NICU and set up all the machines to her again and kissed the top of her head. "We had a long day baby you can go to bed. You did good today." I said stroking her hair and holding her small hand.