Love and Tragedy.

Chapter 29

Alex

She leads me her hand in mine, we walk down the stairs and there they all sit in the living room surrounding the little girl. Theres another man sitting next to Derek that I don't recognize. "Who's that?" I ask nodding my head to the man. "Derek's father, he visits often seeing as he has some loved ones up here in this foster house." she says laughing.

She keeps dragging me and we are outside and then the next minute we are at the hospital, i'm confused but this whole thing is confusing. We weave through the patients and we are outside of a hospital room. 

We step in and Bailey is lying in the bed, he has a cast around his arm all of a sudden his face lights up and Zola runs right through us to him, then Richard "We got the pudding!" he exclaims. "Where is everyone?" i ask "We'll you're in surgery, Ellis is in surgery, and Addy's in surgery." she says "What?" I ask tearing up.

"We have a daughter, a beautiful, amazing, smart, strong, daughter and we can't be selfish when it comes to her." she shakes her head.

"The first year she was born I never left her side, only when i needed to be with you, other than that I was always with her. I dreamed about stroking her hair until she fell asleep and getting to hold her hand. Being there as she got older, met a boy, got married, had kids. I don't get to be with her for any of those things, but you do, you get the opportunity to be with her."

"I don't even know how." I tell her "You need to want it to fight for it." she tells me "i'm scared." i tell her. "I've never stopped being scared." "baby I know." she tells me as she puts a hand on my cheek. 

"Come on." she says leading me out of the room. We walk into the gallery and everything turns into slow motion. There on the table is sweet little Ellis, Robbins is pumping her chest as she is flat lining. The table is surrounded by our people trying to save her. 

"When one of us is in surgery we all either are in the operating room or in the gallery." she tells me. "But Ellis has flat- lined so she's here right now, that's why nobody's here they're with her at the house. 

She takes my hand and I am peeled away from this room to the next gallery, this time someone is in the gallery and the person laying on the operating table is me. Meredith sits in the back and she has a tear stained face. 

I sit down next to her "She has lost so much." Jo says from the door "she acts so strong around everyone, but at night when shes all alone in her bed, she's sad." "She misses Derek, Lexi, all the others." I tell her "She doesn't deserve to miss you too." she says. 

Jo comes over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder "Come on we have one more room to go to." I stand up and follow her we step into another gallery this time I start to break down.

"Our baby girl is strong, but if she comes out of this shes gonna need her daddy. Lets go home baby." she says taking my hand and putting it in hers.

We are back in the house and we walk into the living room with everyone else. I sit down on the couch next to Mark as Jo goes to Ellis who's playing on the ground with her daddy and aunts and uncles. 

"I always knew she'd be a great mother." Mark says looking at Lexi "I couldn't wait to marry her and have kids with her, that was my dream. A happily ever after." he breathes out "I gave her so many reasons to hate me, we loved each other, but we were both to stubborn to realize it until it was to late." he finishes.

"As much as I love her and I am happy to be with her right now I miss my daughter." he sighs "That little girl meant everything to me, she still does, I am happy she has the best parents in the world. It's still hard."

"Do you ever get upset?" I ask and he looks at me confused "like I am upset Jo is up here instead of me." I tell him "Oh plenty, sometimes I get mad Lexi is up here because she deserved so much better, sometimes I get angry that I am up here, but Lexi helps me so much. She helps me realize that even though this is upsetting and even though we wanted to have a family and be so much in the world she helps me realize that we are finally together." he finishes.

"Go home Alex, that little girl down there needs a daddy. And my little girl will miss her almost favorite uncle." he jokes "Who's her first?" I ask laughing "Derek." he states "I don't think that counts" I chuckle "Fine than Avery." he says seriously "She does love him." i sigh and we both laugh.

Derek comes and sits next to me "Ready to fight?" he asks and I nod "My little girl needs a father, and your kids need me, and I can't leave Meredith. It's not fair." I tell him "That's right, finally." he sighs. 

"I don't know how to though." I tell him and he looks over at his little girl on the floor "God I wish I could be selfish." he sighs "Ellis baby, come here." he says and she gets up and walks over to us. "Uncle alex is gonna take you home okay?" he asks "Are you coming with us daddy?" she asks "No baby I can't, I have to stay up here." she starts to cry "But mommy and Zola and Bailey miss you so much. Even aunt Amelia, they pretend they don't, but they do they cry sometimes. You have to come home with us daddy." she says starting to cry harder and he picks her up and hugs her.

He starts to cry "Baby you've got to be strong, I can;t come with you, but I'll always be with you. I'll always be with all of you, you just won't be able to see or here me." "Will you be able to see and hear us?" she asks starting to calm down. "Yes, so you can talk to me whenever and i'll listen to you always."

"I love you so much, sweetheart." he says squeezing her tight "Now go say goodbye to all them okay?" he says putting her down. She goes and starts hugging everyone I go over to Mark and Lexi and hug them both.

"Take care of my girls." Mark says "And my big sister, let her know I love her." Lexi adds. I hug them both one more time "I love you" I tell them and they both nod "We love you too." Lexi says them both giving me a smile.

I walk over to George and give him a hug "Miss you man." he says "We all miss you" I tell him and he nods "Give my best friend a call okay?" he asks and I feel a little confused until it hits me "Will do man." I tell him. I then walk over to Derek and hug him "Please always be there for her, she pretends she is strong and can handle anything, but she does need someone." he tells me "Also Amelia help her find someone, tell her it's okay to love, let her know she can let someone in. Be there for her. As for me little ones, you know what to do, you've always done it." he says giving me a smile and I watch a tear fall. 

"Daddy" We both hear Ellis tugs at his sweater "All I need to do is say goodbye to you now." she says and he picks her up. I walk over to the last person, the one that means the most. 

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" she asks as she brings me in for a hug. "You will always be the love of my life, but baby it's okay to love another okay?" she tells me and I shake my head "Yes. Please remember to take care of yourself along with Addy." "I love you so much." I tell her and kiss her for the last time.

Derek walks over to us "Okay go to uncle Alex now, he's gonna take you to mommy. Remember to do what I told you okay?" he asks and gives her a kiss on the head. She gives him one last hug and whispers in his ear. "I love you so much Daddy" "I love you my sweet sweet Ellis." he says stroking her hair. 

"Come on Honey, lets go home." i tell her wiping my eye, I take her in my arms and start to walk towards the door. I grab the handle and turn around to see all my family huddled together hugging each other. 

"Goodbye we love you." I tell them and Ellis waves her tiny hand.

I open the door and am consumed by the brightness of the outside, I take a step and then another until I feel nothing at all.