Against The Fate || Clalec || ( A Clary and Alec Fanfiction)

Chapter Two: Wrong

Clary

Alexander Gideon Lightwood
was kissing me.

His lips was soft against mine, fierce with passion and lust, making my head spinning and my heart slamming against my rib cage.

It felt like a wave crashing harshly against a shore. Raging. I could feel his frustration, and need, and desperation. I didn't know why I did, but I kissed him back. As if I were trying to understand what he meant. As if there was something that connect us.

He put his hand in the back of my head and another hand on my waist. I dared myself to bury my fingers in his dark hair. I always wanted to touch his hair, even though it never looked so heavenly like Jace's hair, it always seems so full of charm that sometimes made my eyes attracted to it. Surprisingly, his hair was soft under my fingertips, so this was how it feels.

I tugged his hair as he entered his tongue inside my lips, something that made my heart beat even faster. And my god, he tasted so amazing. And it shocked me how our tongue found their rhythm so perfectly, as if our heartbeat was enough to make it sync.

He suddenly made a move and slowly pushing me to lay on the bed. He then moved above me, without breaking the kiss. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him down, closer to my body.

After a while, he leaned out and looked at me in the eye. He was out of breathe, his lips was swollen and his hair was messy. I couldn't imagine anything sexier than the view in front of me.

His blue eyes were still the same beautiful color like the first time I saw them, still the same midnight blue eyes that looked a thousand times more beautiful than the real night sky itself.

I kissed Alec.
The Alec that I thought would never even lay a finger on me.
The Alec that I thought was gay.
The Alec that called me the mundane from Brooklyn street.
Alec. Jace's parabatai.

My eyes widen in shock and horror. "Oh god, Alec, what have we done?!" I broke out from his hand as fast as I could and stood besides the bed.

Alec looked taken aback with what I said, however, he followed me to stand up and he stood there in front of me. My words looked as if it slapped him right across the face. I could see at least the slightest hint guilt in his face but I unfortunately I couldn't. All I see is the pain flashed vividly in his eyes, as if what we did was on his purpose, as if that was not a mistake. "Clary, I-"

"I need you to leave," I cut his words, "please, leave." What had happened still lingered through my mind. How could I did what I just did? God, I have a boyfriend!

"But I-"

"Alec, please." I repeated in a higher tone.

I saw his face getting red but he didn't say any word. He walked out of my room and slammed the door behind him as he disappeared behind it.

I jumped to my bed, letting my head fall to the pillow as I let the guilty feeling washed over me.

I knew how it felt to kiss someone who I thought was my brother or someone who was actually my brother -or to kiss someone other than Jace. I still remember the guilty feeling spread to all over my body instantly slapped me not long after our lips met contact. But the kiss with Alec didn't feel that way.

And this was the problem. What I just did with Alec felt so right, so right that it didn't make me feel guilty.

More than anything, I felt guilty because I didn't feel bad for kissing my boyfriend's parabatai.

God, what is wrong with me?!

Alec

I opened my eyes slowly, letting the sunshine crept through my eye lashes. The feeling and emotion from last night were still clouding in my head, making my mind spinning and my heart ached.

Everything that felt so right last night felt so wrong now.

It was now that everything sank in and I realized what I did last night was a total shit.

Kissing a Morgenstern. Jace's Morgenstern. What did I even think? How could I do such a disrespectful act? Raziel, I bet on my own sake's that she would never look at me the same way again. Way to go, Alec.

Ugh. I really need to get out of this hell hole before my thought got worse.

Jumping out of my bed, I then took a shower and got dressed.

The institute was really quite when I left. Clary must had been sleeping still. I wondered if she even wanted to see me again after what happened last night.

As I walked through the sidewalk of Brooklyn streets, I took out my phone and texted Clary that I'm going out to buy some groceries.

Hell, I don't even like to go shopping.

Truth was, I didn't even know where am I going.

My feet stopped as my eyes landed on a girl who was sitting alone in a coffee shop with her book in her hand. She had light brown hair and seemingly tall figure. She also got a sweet smile as she sometimes even laugh on her book that she was reading. Weird. Why would anyone laugh at a book?

There's nothing that seemed special in her. Hell, I could never see anything special in any girl if I had to compare them with Clary.

A stupid yet crazy idea came up to my mind. I need to try this.
Maybe Clary was never that special?
Maybe the feeling I got when I kissed her could also be the feeling when I kissed another girl?
I should definitely try.

I took my stele out from my pocket and drew a confident rune. Silently wishing my self a good luck, I walked my way to the coffee shop.

I bought the simplest coffee I could think of in the moment and slowly approached the girl. "Hey," I greeted her. She looked up and me and she looked surprised, but stunned. "Anyone sit here?" I motioned the chair in front of her, putting on a smile that felt so strange and uncomfortable to my own liking.

She smiled sweetly and shook her head,  "No, no. It's empty. You can sit there if you want."

Worked well much?