Against The Fate || Clalec || ( A Clary and Alec Fanfiction)

Chapter 16: Magnus Bane

Breathe.

I sipped the water from my glass. Trying not to look nervous.

Placing the glass down on the table in front of me. Magnus was already staring at me when I looked at him. The stare he was giving me, there was a hint of concern there. His face didn't really show any specific emotion tho.

"You look like trash, pumkin."

"Thank you." A short, half bitter-half hearted smile.

"I'm serious,"

"You sure are."

Magnus sighed. The high warlock seemed to look a little more irritated. "Cut that out, Clary. Things been happening to you, but that doesn't mean you can start acting up-"

"Magnus, would you just tell me what is it that you want to talk about?" I cut him off. "I don't have much time for this."

At the words, Magnus raised his eyebrows almost in a faked amusement. "Oh really?" I swear he was half challenging me. "Tell me now, biscuit, what is it that busied you lately? Because I'm sure you spend almost 80% of the day sulking yourself about Alec."

My hands felt cold, it had been. My heart ached when he said those, though I tried not to mind.

I glanced away. There was a small window in this kitchen, giving a little view of the twilight sky outside Brooklyn.

"What is this, Magnus?" My voice sounded even colder and hollow than what I imagined it to be. I didn't really care tho.

Magnus was sitting in front of me across the table. He looked at ease, but I could tell he was not as relax as I. "This is about you and Alec, Clary." He finally managed to say.

I didn't look away from the window. Trying to hide the words written in my eyes. "There's nothing to be talked about."

"Everything needs to be talked about, Clary."

This time, I looked back at hin. "Why do you care about anything anyway?" I asked, getting a little irritated.

"I care about the two of you." Magnus' eyes were deep and serious. "I've known you for so long even though you've only known me for only almost a year. But the memories of you -little kids growing up, coming to my apartment with your mother every year just so I could block this shadow world from you- they lingers in my brain. I wish everything doesn't matter, Clary, but it sticks with me."

"And Alec is another story," he continued. "The first time I landed my eyes on him-"

"You're already falling for him, weren't you?" I cut in. Imagining the clear image of the first time I saw Magnus looking at Alec back then. I swear Magnus' cat eyes twinkled with sparks, though it seemed to drained out throughout times.

Magnus smiled, a little bitter. "Who wouldn't?" He said, almost sadly.

"Then why didn't you go after him back then?"

The smile changed a little into a soft grin. Magnus laid his back against the chair more comfortably. "I could, you know. With some efforts, with some more luck and sparks. I never said it wasn't easy." He shrugged a little. "But you mortals live too short, you know, Clary? It's always too damn short. You live the few tenth years -and then you'll die." Magnus shook his head a little.

He gave a brief pause before he continued, "One day I saw the way he was giving you -the hidden hopes under his magnificent blue eyes, the love it was so clear I almost wonder how no one never noticed- and I decided I couldn't take him away from his world. From the world where he can meet his loved one and grow old with that person together until they die. Mortal love. I can't do that, I don't want to."

I didn't get the point of why he was telling me these things. "What are you trying to say, Magnus?"

"I know you love him too, Clary." The words echoed silently in my mind. I knew I loved him, but no one ever really pointed that out to me. "You both love each other very much. So painfully much. But sometimes, there are things you can't forced, Clary. Things that arent meant to be. Bad and painful things exist, and if you think the mundane's life is cruel, shadow world is worse."

There was a long pause after. We both looking at each other's eyes, silently painting our vision of hurt and pain.

"And we both want him to be happy, don't we, Clary? I took my chance to let him be. Now it's your turn."

"You want me to leave him?"

"No," he said firmly. "I want you to make wise decision about what you should do next. Somehow, you have to understand that this is not only about you and Alec. It's about Jace and Isabelle too. Jace is still your boyfriend, Clary. Keep in mind that he is Alec's parabatai too. And you can't hide forever."

I felt my heart beat slammed against my ribcage. What he was saying. It was painful but it was the truth.

Alec and Jace. Parabatai is more than just a family, parabatai is a part of you. It's bond is closer than blood. It is sacred. You can feel what your parabatai feels, can share the same emotion and feelings, can understand each other when no one else couldn't. When one hurts, the other one feels too. When one dies, the other one will be more than grateful to join too. Because parabatai bond is so strong the other person's soul almost became one with your's. It is not just some friendship labeling, it is a sacred vow. It is not a usual and common connection, it's so speacial.

Magnus stood from his chair, stepping away. I didn't stop him to leave. But just when he was at the door, he stopped and said, "Do me a favor, Clary. Loves him and meant it with all your heart or you might as well just leave him alone. You can't just love someone half heartedly, can you?"

I nodded, almost too slowly. My feelings felt aching and hurt, wounded. "Thank you, Magnus." I'll make my decision. "Thank you so much."

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Hope you all enjoy this deep talk chapter. Hopefully you can get the feels.

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