Unexpected

Chapter 32.

Albert's POV.

Three fucking days. The worst three fucking days I have ever experienced.

Fuck, I thought that after what happened with my dad I would never feel this beating again. I would never feel this broken again. But I never thought I would ever feel whole before her.

I can't fucking eat without throwing it all up.

I can't breathe without thinking about her heart beating so fast against my chest. I can't stop thinking about her touch and her eyes. Her smiles keeps appearing on my dreams but every time I try to kiss her and hold her, she vanishes like sand through my arms.

I miss her. Fuck, I miss her like I have never missed anyone in my entire life. How could I hurt her? I harmed her while I was having a somnambulism attack. I promised I would always protect her but I guess I forget about protecting her from my own self.

Day one: She sent me a text. I was trying to battle if I should call her or not. She told me that she missed me and everything snapped inside of me when she apologised herself. How can she apologise for my mistake?! I harmed her. I harmed the person I care the most in the world.

Day two: She called me. I threw my phone against the wall but I was disappointed when it only crashed the screen.

I wanted to pick up and hear her breathing. Hear her voice. I missed her so fucking much that it was hurting and eating my chest away. I was crying at night like a stupid baby. I was ridiculously whimpering and painfully chocking. My lungs were shaking inside of my chest and my heart was beating so fast that I couldn't think anymore.

I smashed my phone under my shoe on the day three.

I couldn't keep myself locked in my room. My mum told me she would call a psychologist and she was so confused when she offered to call Emily and I plead her not to.

I deserve this pain. I hurt her.

Day four:

I stand up and take a shower. I grab a black jumper and some dirty jeans I had spread on the floor.

I told my mum I was going to shock and I left the house before she could say something to keep me inside.

James is waiting for me with a cigarette between his lips and I chose to ignore him as he calls my name.

I know I will see her today. I don't think she would skip classes just to avoid me, she's a great student, her career is important to her.

I just don't know if I can control myself when I look at her. I miss her so much, I'm craving to touch her and to hold her and I don't know if I can fucking pass throughout the day without losing my self control.

I don't know if I even have it near her anymore.

Somehow I know she's inside. Probably talking to Sophia, I just know she's in there. I can fucking feel it in my bones.

When I enter, I see her staring numbly at her notebook with a pen frozen on her fingers. She looks different from my Emily. She looks to be in the darkness even with the gold sunlight perforating the glass of the window and covering her skin.