Craving Forgiveness

41

You took a deep breath as you stood outside Erik's door.

You knocked and waited as the handle jiggled and the door opened.

Erik stood a few feet away looking at you.

"Atarah. Are you alright?" He asked concerningly.

You nodded, "I'm fine. I just wanted you to see you. May I come in?" You politely asked.

He was surprised,"Uh. Yeah of course. Come in Atarah."

You walked into his room and stood in the center feeling a bit out of place and nervous.

He pulled a chair out for you two," Sit." You did as he said and looked down as you fiddled with your fingers. "So, I know you didn't come to just 'see' me."

"No. I um. I miss you." You blurted out taking him by surprise.

"Come again?" He said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I miss you." You mumbled trying not to feed his ego.

"You miss me?"

"Yes Erik, I do. I was wrong for being so hard on you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore."

"Don't be silly. I've hurt you a ton you've only done it once and it's justified. So let's just call it even." He winked at you. "Besides you can't get rid of me that easily."

You smiled,"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I deserved everything you said and did. I underestimated you. I should've told you about your parents."

"You were right not to. Look at me. I'm a mess because of what I know now. You were just protecting me from that pain."

"I love you."

"I love you too Erik." You smiled at him.

He stood up and walked over to you and pulled you up out of the chair by your hand.

He looked down at you and smiled, "so does that mean you'll still marry me?"

Your eyes widened as you remembered giving the ring back.

You slapped his arm," is that any way to ask a lady?"

He fought a smile and he rolled his eyes.

He took your hand and got on one knee," A few years ago, if someone were to tell me that I'd be on my knees with a ring proposing the a girl I love, the very same girl who had me arrested for killing her father and having me held in the Pentagon's prison for 6 months I would tell then that they were utterly insane." You both smiled at the humorous past. "But now, looking at this awe inspiring, incredible woman I can see that I want nothing more than to be your husband and to do my best to make you happy all the days of my life. I know I'll mess up and I'll falter because you...you are the only one that is perfect. So, Atarah Kennedy, will you marry me?"

He held up the beautiful ring that was crafted just for you and you smiled even harder than you could've imagined. You nodded a million times and said yes twice as much.

He slid the ring on the stood up to pull you into him and he squeezed you lovingly.

"So I need you to do something and I need you to listen and don't try to defy me. Me and Alex are going after your father tonight. I need you to stay here. No matter what even if you see something. You have to stay here. Your father is powerful. You're purely defensive, let me and Alex handle and we'll be back as soon as we can." Erik said.

You looked up at him with wide eyes that held fear and nervousness.
You gave him a solid nod before you hugged him again.

"Me and Alex need to talk over a few more things so why don't you head back to your room and relax and I'll be in to say goodnight before I leave."

"I can't hear what you and Alex are talking about?"

He shook his head,"no Atarah. You can't. He's your father and that affects the way you feel about the whole situation no matter how much you don't want it to. I don't want you to hear anything. Just go back to your room and turn on the television and watch a movie or something. Relax. We will take care of everything and the world will be a better place after we're done."

You let out a deep sigh and nodded before sulking back to your room.

You turned on the tv and searched through the channels before finding some cartoons.

You laid in bed laughing at the cartoons and drinking some wine to bring out your carelessness.

You were in bed hysterically laughing at the television when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" You shouted.

"I can't." Erik replied.

"Oh yeah." You slurred laughing.

You stumbled over to the door and opened it and threw your arms around him.

"Well isn't someone happy to see me?" He said with a smile in his voice.

"Very, I missesed you."

He pulled away to look at you," you're drunk aren't you?"

"Very drunk." You gasped," are you mad?"

He pulled you into the room and shook his head as he sat you in the bed," I'm not mad." He said beside you. "I'm sad."

"Why?"

"You got drunk to feel less emotional I'm assuming. To escape your problems."

You stayed silent not wanting to admit the truth.

"Maybe we shouldn't go through with it. There's a 99.9% chance your father will die tonight and I'm sure you're aware of that."

"No! You have to! You have to do it. I'm big girl I be okay."

He was silent as he looked at you intently," a drunk man tells no lies."

" 'Cept I'm a woman."

He laughed," yes you are." He looked down at his watch," we should get going."

He stood up and laid you down making sure you cover you with the blanket.

"Remember, stay here. No matter what you see."

You nodded.

He shook his head,"I need to hear you say it."

You sighed,"I'll stay here matter what."

He smiled at your drunken state.
He got you a bottle of water and some Advil and put them at your bedside.
"Take these when you wake up."

He leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead. "I love you."

You smiled up at him,"I love you too!" You half shouted not realizing. "Oops."

He laughed and said goodnight and he left the room.

You tried your best to sleep and not think about what was going to happen.