Craving Forgiveness

40

"Atarah, think about what you're telling me to do." Erik looked at you intently.

"I know what I'm telling you to do. I'm telling you to kill my father." You snapped back.

He gave a nod and began walking towards you.

"No Erik. I'm still mad at you."

He stopped and pain crossed his face.

"Atarah, I deeply regret my actions. I did it for you. I lied for you. I lied so you could continue to keep that beautiful smile on your face. I lied so your eyes can remain a sparkle brighter than the sun. I lied so your heart will stay beautiful and innocent. I did it all for you. I want nothing but to make you happy. If you were to tell me to jump off of the roof for you to smile genuinely I would do it without thinking twice. As long as I got to see that gorgeous smile of yours before I hit the ground. I know your trust in me is distorted. I would never intentionally hurt you. I don't know what is right or wrong. I don't know how to make you happy so I try to do anything I think could help. I see sadness and fear in your eyes and I wanna take the pain away. " he was now in front of you on his knees with your hands in his. He looked up at you with sleepless eyes that threatened to spill tears. "Let me take the pain away."

You swallowed feeling a pained lump in your throat.
You took his hands and pulled him up and hugged him as you cried into his chest letting out all of your fears and sadness.

Erik held you as you cried into his strong chest.

Erik sat you down in the edge of the bed still embracing you.
"It's okay my love. I'm here to take care of you. I've got you now." He repeated a few times consoling you as he rocked you back and forth.

"I just don't understand how they could be so awful?" You finally said with sadness in your voice. "I was their child. Their only child and they blatantly hated me. They abandoned me then when they could exploit me they kidnapped and used me. I'm part of them. I came from them. Do I have that same evil inside of me?"

Erik shook his head viciously,"No. You are NOTHING like those monsters. You're an angel. You're the sweetest, most kind and gentle person I know. You can't be capable of anything remotely evil. Don't you even think like that. They were not your parents, the Kennedy's are. They loved you and treated you as their own, they raised you and that's all that matters."

You sighed, "you're right. I'm not like them."

He quietly held you for a while longer.

"So what do we do now?" You asked pulling away as he frowned at your distance.

"Well, we find your father, and I will handle it."

You looked up at him unsure of what to say.

"I love you." He said looking down at you.

You stayed silent.

"Right." He stood up "well Alex and I have rooms on this floor. I'm to the left in 215 and he's to the right in 219. If you need either of us please don't hesitate." He turned away and mumbled 'goodnight' as he walked out of the room.

You laid back in the bed and stared at the ceiling until you drifted to sleep.

"Atarah?!" You heard a voice call.

"Atarah?"

You sat up and looked around.  No one was in sight so you sighed and got out of bed to go to the door.

Alex stood there smiling at you with a plate of food in his hand.

You smiled back and stepped aside for him to enter.

He placed the plate on the bedside table and turned to face you. "How are you doing princess?"

You shrugged." I've definitely been better." You sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor.

The bed sunk in as he sat next to you. "Do you want my advice?" He asked and you looked up at him.

"You know I always do."

He gave a nod,"Forgive Erik. And I can't believe I'm saying this but if I were him I would've lied too. As wrong as it sounds he was right to lie to you. Look what it's doing to you? Have you even eaten these past two days?"

"No." You muttered ashamed.

"Exactly my point. The truth is tearing you apart and it's doing nothing but that. There was nothing beneficial about knowing what your father has been doing. He's a terrible person and well..." He paused," well look at you. You're the most incredible woman I've ever had the pleasure to know. You're so sweet and sheltered and innocent. Now it's like that innocence is corrupted. Erik was protecting you. He just wants you to stay the sweet, innocent, happy woman that you are. He was right to do that. I'm sorry if you don't see that but it's true."

You sighed," I hurt him. I even gave the ring back. He won't forgive me."

Alex chucked in thought," Atarah. You could kill him and he'd still forgive you."

You smiled,"you think?"

"Oh yeah. He's crazy about you. You two deserve each other."

You stood up and gave Alex a hug," I'll go talk to him."

You began to turn away before his arm caught you. "Uh uh uh. Eat first. Then go talk to him."