New Year. New Me. ( A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter 41

The seniors are coming up on the last week of school now.  Zayn has been stressing because of exams and graduation.  I can't do much to help him as I have been drowning in stress as well.  These past few weeks have been tough in school. Trying to keep up in classes has been proving difficult with the events that happened a few days after prom with my parents.  My dad found some text messages on my mom's phone to another guy and things have gone downhill from there.  Being in my own house is uncomfortable so I spend most of my time at Zayn's or Aubri's.  It's so strange to have this tension.  My parents have never been the type to fight and suddenly everything has changed.  I wake up to the screaming at each other, slamming doors, and one or the other leaving the house.  Not only do I have to be strong for me I must be strong for my brother.  I started to notice that my mom was different around January.  She would go out every weekend and come home at all hours of the morning with alcohol heavy on her breath.  I am very intolerant of drunken people.  As the months went on I began to drift farther and farther from her.  No more long talks. No more talking about the drama at school. She barely even asked about Zayn.  Old things she used to do began to disappear. She hasn't baked in months.  She began to care more about going on trips with her friends than being here with us. I tried to distract myself by carrying on with school and extra activities like planning prom and going to games at the school. They seemed to help for a while, but there was still so much building in my mind.  Most weekends it would be my dad, my brother, and I when I was actually home.  I ate dinner at Zayn's more often than not.  His parents are always so welcoming. Especially Zayn's mom I really appreciate her.  She acts like a mother to me.  I feel like I can tell her anything, she gives me the best advice, and I don't know if I would have gotten through these past few months without her support.  I have more of a motherly relationship with her and my aunt than my mom.  My mom has always been jealous of my aunt who I have a very close relationship with.  I have always gone to her for everything.  It's not that I didn't want my mom to know but that's just what I do naturally.  My parents kept telling me not to worry, but how am I expected not to with all this screaming and fighting.  What do you do when your parents ask questions about each other? Whose side do you pick? Do you pick a side? How can a family who looks like an average happy family deteriorate so quickly? After finding out about the text messages it made me wonder if she even cared about us anymore. I mean she did come home every night, but she wasn't actually there.  She would just sleep, eat, and go to work. Days would pass without actually speaking to her.  I spent a many nights awake crying, blaming myself, and wondering what I could do to fix this when in reality the answer is nothing.  This was between my parents and nothing that I said or did could change that.  People began to notice my mood change.  I was no longer the happy, smiling, and optimistic, Mallory anymore.  I began to form bags under my eyes.  I no longer felt the need to dress myself as well for school. I didn't care. I still don't.  I did find ways to disguise my sadness, but people saw right through it.  I would hear whispers through the halls as I would walk down.  

"What happened to her?" 

"Did someone die?"

"Is she depressed?"

"Did she and Zayn break up?"

The sad truth is that anybody could have assumed Zayn and I were no longer together the last few weeks. I am emotionally detached from everything.  People are used to seeing me laughing and smiling at everything. All of that is gone. They are used to me laughing at Zayn's jokes or walking to class with him. Those things are gone.  Most days all I do is go to school, go to work, and go to sleep. I am so lost in this mess that I didn't realize how soon Zayn would be gone.  He isn't leaving right away but there is not a lot of time left.  After graduation we have maybe three months together before he leaves.  The realization of his departure is just another weight added to my pile.  My parents are not on good terms, my boyfriend and friends are graduating, and my brother and I are just trying to get by.   My brother and I deal with things differently and that is so difficult to manage.  I just ignore my surroundings and get on with the task I need to complete. This is part of the reason I didn't realize that graduation is coming so fast. On the other hand my brother lets it affect most everything.  His grades have dramatically dropped. He can't focus on anything. I am doing my best to help him but managing both of us is getting to be too much.  Some days we get into fights over the stupidest things just because of all the stress we are both under.  He won't let me in. He won't talk to me about anything.  It's the most frustrating thing to know that we are both going through it but he refuses to talk to me about it.  He isn't the only one that is struggling with this.  

"Yet another thing I have to find out about!!!!" My dad yells.

"What's that supposed to mean?!?!?!?!?" My mom yells back.  

I hear my parents start the fighting bright and early this morning.  I decide to throw on some leggings, a loose t-shirt, a baggy sweatshirt, and my grey converse.  I quick grab my backpack and stuff it with enough clothes for about four days.  I throw my phone charger, toothbrush, and some money into the backpack before zipping it up.  I get a text from Zayn as I stuff some granola bars in my pocket.  

*Pick you up for school? -z*

*Nah, I am going to drive myself*

I walk by my parents and intend to keep going.   

"Are you leaving for school?"  My dad stops briefly to ask me. 

"Yeah, bye." I answer in monotone. I keep walking towards the front door and grab my keys from the counter. I start the car and throw my bag in the passenger seat.  

****************************Zayn's POV*************************

Mallory said she was driving herself to school but I don't see her car anywhere in the parking lot. She is probably just running a little late.  I hate to see her the way she has been.  She is like a zombie.  I care for her so much and I hate that I can't do anything to help her any more than I have already.  

"Have you talked to Mallory today?" Aubri asks me as I'm walking to my locker. 

"I got a text from her this mooring that's about it. I haven't talked to her since then. Maybe she needs a day alone." 

"I guess you are right.  She just isn't answering any of my texts or calls."

"She will come around later." I reassure her or I thought I was. I think I said it more to reassure myself.  It's unlike her to skip school even in the state she has been in lately.  I don't think there is a need to worry. She is a smart girl, she can handle herself.  

After school I decide to swing by Mallory's to see if she is there.  I knock on the door and her brother answers. 

"Is Mallory home?" I ask him. 

"No, she wasn't at school?" He questions me back. 

"No, she told me she was driving herself and then never showed up." 

"She told us she was leaving for school this morning. Where did she go?" 

"I don't know. She hasn't been answering Aubri's texts either."

"That's odd."

"Very." 

"She might be clearing her head on a drive."

"I guess so."

I agree with her brother, but all day? That doesn't seem right. 

__________________________________________________________________

Since you all have been asking for an update, I got some inspiration and here we have it. :) 

Thank you for being so patient with me!

 love and thanks always, 

brianna xxx