twenty-one » astronomical unit

137 13 6
                                    

dear infinity,

i know you've been avoiding me for the past several weeks. and it hurts, honestly, because i can't be there for you if you won't let me.

why are you shutting me out? i've never even confronted you about that other guy that you went home with after that college frat party. i haven't really accused you of anything. all i've done is try to comfort you. yet here we are, at what feels like the absolute minimum of our relationship.

i'm so tired of this. and i hate how cliché this sounds, but we need to talk. first of all, how are we supposed to maintain a happy and healthy relationship if we continue to avoid each other like this? there is honestly no way that we can continue like this and expect our relationship to continue to grow or stay constant or even decrease but never reach zero. we can't keep going at this rate because soon we'll hit our limit of zero, and i'm not sure if it'll be possible for me to pick myself up after that.

i really do love you, infinity, and i don't want to experience what living without you feels like now that i have you.

secondly, i just don't understand what's happening. i'm trying really hard to respect you and give you space, but now it's clear to me (and to everyone else) that you're avoiding me. my friends have been teasing me about it, wondering if i've come crawling back to them now that i don't have you anymore. i don't think they realize how much that hurts because of how true that is now.

what happened to you and me, to us? honestly, i don't know where we went wrong. i've looked back to see what mistakes i might have made, but i'm still so confused. would it be a crime for you to just take a few minutes out of your day to tell me what's wrong? whatever it is, i didn't mean to do it, and i am so, so sorry. please don't shut me out because of whatever this is.

honestly, the reason you keep avoiding me is a variable i don't think i can solve right now. i've been given insufficient information for this problem, and i only know one method, one technique, to solve it, which is to talk it out with each other. and it's really difficult to do that if you won't even dare to look at me. i'm just so tired of this. i want to fix whatever went wrong between us because i want us to be all right once more.

i'm sorry for whatever i might have done. i know that doesn't mean anything because i don't even know the reason why you're ignoring me, but i am sorry for it. i'm sorry for it because it's dividing us into two separate products, unlike the monomial we are supposed to be. i'm sorry for it because you no longer seem to be able to trust me with your problems like before, even though i'm supposed to be there for you unconditionally. i'm sorry for it because it's changed everything, and i contented myself with the way things were before.

i love you, infinity, and i don't want to lose you. but if you keep ignoring me, i'm afraid that the latter is the only thing that i'll be successful in doing.

love,
beyond

you & iWhere stories live. Discover now