Broken ≠ G.D

Bad Days//24

I woke up in hopes that today would be better than yesterday, its been really rough lately. The last time I'd seen Jaxon was the day I told him I was pregnant, and that was about a month ago.

It's just been me and Brecken lately, all three of the guys went on tour, and due to the fight going on between Jaxon and I, I couldn't go. They've been gone for 3 weeks so far, and I miss Grayson way more than I thought I would. I knew I would miss him but I didn't expect it to hurt this much. I don't just miss Gray though, I miss all of them, even Jaxon...

I'm really upset with the way things are between us, but I came to the realization that I can't continue to try to live up to his expectations, because they are unrealistic. He's not supportive of anything I'm doing with my life and for the first time, I don't care. I do wish he would accept me as I am. He avoids me as much as he can, even when he comes to pick Brecken up. He'd even rather see Grayson than me, which defiantly isn't fair considering this is partially his fault. I'm still hoping that one day he will be able to accept everything that I've done with my life and that we will be able to move on with our life's and be civil.

Since the guys have left, Brecken has been staying in my room with me. We've really been able to get to know each other again, which is absolutely awesome. I'm going to honestly have the worst time when she leaves next week.

Thankfully Grayson comes home the day after she leaves, and is staying for a week, but then has to return to the tour sadly. He's been really great at keeping in touch and making sure he is updated with every single part of my life. It's becoming rather annoying but I know he just does it because he probably misses me.

Today I am official 3 months pregnant and going into my second trimester, so Grayson has been blowing up my phone.

I love that he is always so excited about the baby, it warms my heart. He's going to be a great dad. I can't wait to see him next week, its been way too long without him.

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Brecken and I were getting lunch; I was wanting to spend as much time as I could with her before she left.

"I know I have to go back and stay with Hannah and Declan, but when do I get to come back here?" Brecken asked me with a frown.

She didn't seem to like staying with Hannah as much, but how could you blame her, there was sun and sand here, not to mention her favorite sister. "Umm, I'm not really sure yet sweetheart, maybe you could come out for your birthday! Wouldn't that be fun?" She nodded.

"That's kind of far away though..." It was only 2 months away, which would fly by fast.

"Don't you miss Hannah though? Or the friends you made in school?"

She shook her head, "I don't really have friends there, and I miss Hannah but ill miss you when I leave, and I wanna meet the baby. What if it comes while I'm gone!"

"Breck, we've got about 6 more months of this little peanut growing before it can pop out!" She made me laugh, of course she wanted to meet the baby, so do I, but we both are going to have to wait! "But hey let's not worry about that, finish eating and then we can go shopping or to the beach if you would like."

"Okay fine..." She looked sad as she finished her food, and I felt sad for her. I didn't want her to leave either, but I couldn't take her full time. It would be way too much with a baby.

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Breck and I had ended up shopping and going to the beach and we were both extremely worn out from the day, which seems silly to say now but being pregnant and chasing around an 8-year-old really takes it out on you.

Gray texted me again, I never really text while I drive, but if Im at a stop sigh or stop light, I usually take the opportunity.

We were on the interstate and there wasn't much traffic at all which was really nice, it always stresses me out when there is. I looked over to Brecken who was asleep already in the front seat, she was curled up with the beach blanket I had brought. I just kept thinking about everything she has been through and how we finally got her back, but now she was leaving me again. I didn't want her to see how upset I was, because I didn't want her to resist going back to Colorado even more.

I didn't reply to Grayson due to the fact that I was driving, but he sent me another message, so I carefully looked, looking back and forth from the road and my phone.

I saw parts of it and got way too excited, I went to read the whole thing...

I looked up to see the red brake lights...

........

I was comming in and out of it, I looked over to see Brecken upside down from her seat and blood everywhere, "BRECKEN!"

She wasn't responding...

I looked out my window to see a car coming straight at me...

The last thing I heard was screaming... my own screaming.