These secrets will kill us Oliver Sykes

Chapter 41 ~ This silence kills me

Veronica's POV
One month later

"Oliver I have to tell you something..." I mumbled and looked down to the ground; shuffling my feet. Oli looked up from his song book with worry in his eyes. Ashley was with Lee and I thought now would be a good time to come clean although I felt bad disturbing him while he was writing especially because he had nearly finished the writing for the album and they needed to start recording before they could go off on tour; I was basically delaying the process, but I couldn't help it...this had been on my mind for too long and it wasn't fair to keep it to myself.

"What's wrong love?"

The words formed in my mouth but they wouldn't come out, it was opening but there was no sound so I just looked like a fish. "I uh..." I began "I..."

Oliver looked at me with a raised eyebrow giving me a sign to carry on "I'mpregantandimsosorry." I blurted out in one big breath. I studied his face for a while but it didn't change; just stayed emotionless. "What?" He asked clearly not hearing a word I had said a few minutes ago. I sighed and took a deep breath "I'm pregnant..." The words sank in and with every second his mouth seemed to drop an inch more; his eyes glazed over as he stared at the wall obviously in shock. "Oliver?" I asked waving my hand infront of his face "Oli?" Nothing. 
I shuck him a little, he snapped out of his trance and looked at me "Oh my god, I'm going to be a dad?"

I nodded warily and the smile was so big I thought it wouldn't be able to fit on his face anymore. "You're not angry at me?" I asked and he stood up and pulled me into a hug

"Are you kidding? This is the best news I've ever heard!" He laughed and I eased up a little "Why would I be mad? I'm half the reason that you are in the first place."

"Sorry I was scared you know? I mean we have Ashley to look after  right now and you're going on tour soon and well we haven't really been together that long..." I trailed off, suddenly the idea of having a baby became less and less inviting the more I thought about it. "We knew this was always going to be a problem but we'll make it work, I know that we aren't in the longest relationship ever but I love you and I'm certain that you're the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with... I'm so happy though V...honestly."

I nodded and grinned

"How far are you?" Oliver questioned holding his hand over my stomach

"I uh...thirteen weeks." I stuttered

"That's three months...why aren't you showing that much?"

A little bit of a bump was formed but not like a pregnant woman should be at three months, I shrugged in response "I need to get an appointment and find out, they'll give me a scan and stuff..." I explained. Oliver stood up and tossed his song book to the side before grabbing his car keys and my hand; making our way to the door "Oli what are you doing?" I asked

"We're going to get you checked out, I won't be able to rest if either one of you are in danger." He replied tugging me into the car

"We have to make an appointment?" I said totally confused by his erratic behaviour

"We're going to a private clinic, I know someone who's a midwife person thing, she'll get you in." Oliver grinned, driving off down the street. "I swear to god you know everyone" I laughed "So who's she?"

"What do you think Zara is?" He replied, I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye

"She's a midwife person thing?" I asked in disbelief

Oliver nodded "Yeah but she does baby stuff like this so that's why we're going to her" he replied parking the car in a space.

We got out and Oli walked over to me "Ready?" He asked

"Ready as I'll ever be..." I mumbled as he entwined his fingers with mine

* * * * * * *

"V?" Zara said looking at Oliver and I totally confused "What are you doing here?"

"Why do people usually come for scans?" Oliver asked the familiar smirk working it's way back onto his face. I'm surprised she didn't hit him like she usually does but I think she was in too much shock "You're...you're pregnant?"

I nodded

"Oh my god you're pregnant! That's so amazing! How long?" Zara asked bouncing up and down

"Thirteen weeks." I grinned but her smile faltered as she gazed down to my stomach and so did mine. Oliver wrapped his arms around me and gave a reassuring squeeze

"Is there a problem?" He asked Zara, frowning a little.

"Uh, no, everything's fine! Come on let's go get you gelled up oh mighty one!" She yelled pulling Oliver and I by our hands and into a small room.

I lay on the table and lifted my shirt as Zara placed the cool gel on my stomach, Oliver held my hand and stroked my hair lightly, another thing that always relaxed me. What if there was something wrong? The last thing we needed was heartbreak. We gazed at the monitor longingly in hope to see our baby boy or girl and with in a few seconds it was there; lying right in front of us. Seeing it made everything seem so real, I began to cry and Oli kissed my forehead "Amazing" he whispered never taking his eyes off the screen once. "So that's the head, obviously" Zara giggled and pointed to the monitor "It's small like smaller than it probably should be at this stage but it seems healthy apart from that so we'll get you in to have another ultrasound in a few weeks just to check how mini you is doing."

"Because it's small does that mean there's a higher chance of miscarriage?" I asked, slightly scared of what the answer might be. Zara gave Oliver a look and I knew she was asking him for help on the situation "V...I don't thin-" Oli began but I cut him off

"No, I need to know this so just tell me." I replied starting to get annoyed, I hated how people tried to protect me from the truth like I was too weak to handle anything anymore. "Well technically yes... there is a higher chance; but if you look after yourself then you and the baby will be fine. I'll be back in a minute with your scan picture." She stated as she stood up and walked out of the room

How was I supposed to react to that? I know she said that as long as I take care of myself then everything should be find but what if I did something wrong? What if I fucked up the whole thing and killed our baby? I could barely look after myself and now I had to look after a baby; a baby that was even more fragile and helpless than the average. I had miscarried the first time when I was pregnant so what would be so different this time?

"Stop it." Oliver said simply, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"I know you're over thinking things and worrying, stop it." he replied

"Well, it's super exciting because you guys are going to have a Christmas baby!" Zara said bouncing back into the room and giving us the scan picture which Oliver took and stared at contently "When's it due?" he mumbled still not taking his eyes off the picture.

"December 12th!"

Oli grinned widely at me and it made happy that he was excited and giving him what he wanted, I just hope I could do it this time.

* * * * *

"Right so we're gonna call everyone up, make them come here for dinner and then we're gonna tell them all!" Oliver said jumping out of the car and rushing into the house. I followed him in and watched as he darted about; putting things away, setting things out, finding his phone. "Oli..." I said but he didn't stop "Oli" I repeated a little louder. "Oliver Scott Sykes!" I shouted, that finally caught his attention.

"Yes?"

"It's great that you're excited and stuff but I don't think we should tell everyone just yet..." I trailed off and looked at his facial expression. He didn't understand. "But it's been thirteen weeks, that's usually when people start telling everyone?"

"I'm going to let you down..." I whispered and looked at the ground, not daring to look him in the eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to lose it Oliver, I lost the last one and now I'm going to do the exact same thing to this. I don't want you to get your hopes up because I'm going to ruin it and I'm the one that's going to have to live with the guilt of you being broken hearted so just stop." A tear fell from my eye and I quickly wiped it away before he saw. I didn't mean it to sound harsh in but it's hard knowing you're the cause of someone's pain.

We stood there for a few seconds in the silence; none of us knowing what to do, it was killing me. The ticking of the clock seemed louder than it ever had before. Suddenly Oli hurried over to me and rested his finger underneath my chin "Look at me..." he whispered, trying to lift my head up but I wouldn't have it.

"No."

"Please, for me? I wanna see your gorgeous face." he chuckled and so did I for a minute before realising I was supposed to be sad "What if I can't do it?" I sighed

"You can do it, We'll do it together, I'll help you when I can and we have near enough our own personal doctor thing so we'll be fine and if, IF you do lose it, which you won't...then we will deal with that together as well." he replied and I nodded feeling slightly better about the situation

"Okay." I mumbled

"Good, now let me get everything ready for tonight and you get your pretty little ass into something nice." Oliver said as he scooped me up bridal style and carried me upstairs while I screamed and begged for him to put me down.

* * * * * * * *

"You do realise everyone will be here in like five minutes and you're still not ready?" Oli asked me smirking

"Well maybe if you got up and helped me find something to wear instead of watching me struggle I'd be ready by now" I mumbled and searched the wardrobe for an outfit. Oliver was currently sprawled out on the bed watching me drown the both of us in clothes and shoes and occasionally laughing at my frustration. "You could wear anything and you'd still look perfect V, you know that."

"Is Zara coming?" I asked 

"Nope, she has to work late...she was really upset she couldn't make it though." 

"How many are actually turning up tonight?" I questioned as I pulled on a tanned coloured dress

"Around thirty." he shrugged, we usually had big gatherings here so it didn't really matter even though sometimes the house got a bit too small for all of us. "And you cooked for all of us?"

"I did indeed." Oliver grinned proudly

"So what are you going to do at the end of the night with the 'around thirty' bodies that you've poisoned?" I teased. Oli gave a sarcastic laugh and flipped me off "Very funny." he mumbled and left the room to answer the door.

After a few minutes I sloped down the stairs and followed the laughter and talking that seemed to be coming from the dining room. I stood in the doorway watching the of mice and men guys crack open drinks and telling jokes. "V!" Alan said, noticing me first, he ran over and compressed me into a tight hug "Long time no see short stuff." 

I scoffed "I'm nearly taller than you."

Alan chuckled "Take off your shoes and then we'll see" he winked before running off, I was 5 6" and in my opinion that wasn't that short but obviously people thought otherwise. More and more people piled into the house and filled up the entire downstairs floor, from what I could see of mice and men were here, as well as the rest of Bring Me, All Time Low, Oliver's parents, Asking Alexandria,Tonight Alive, Sleeping With Sirens and even my band managed to come round, I hadn't actually seen them for a while since they left warped early to spend time at home. 

Oliver called everyone round the huge table we set up for the occasion and brought out the food as everyone complimented him on how good it looked resulting with me getting a smug look from Oli himself. We all settled down and the door knocked, I raised my eyebrow at Oliver trying to ask him who else we were expecting; there was already so many people here. He just smiled and shrugged as he got up to answer the door; a clear sign he was up to something. "Babe? Can you come here for a sec!" He shouted and I sighed, excusing myself and made my way over to the door "Seriously? What's wrong no-" 

I was cut off by someone picking me up and spinning me around "Woah? What the fu-"
I looked down to see Tony's smiling face looking back at me. "Oh my god, no way!" I screamed "You're here, you're all actually here!" The three tall tattooed men looked at me with wide smiles

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Sykes mentioned a secret" Mike replied, nudging Oliver

"He also mentioned food!" Jaime shouted and ran into the dining room where the food was at, closely followed by Oli who raced after him. We all laughed and made our way back to the dinner party, Tony gave me a wink letting me know he hadn't told the guys anything.

Oliver's POV

The night had gone smoothly and everyone seemed happy to be with eachother again but now it was time to announce the real reason why we asked everyone to come round. I stood up and everyone's attention turned to me "I just wanted to say thank you for all coming tonight it meant a lot to us." I nodded my head in V's direction and she smiled and agreed with me "But we have something to tell you guys."

"Secrets!" Mike yelled, he'd clearly been waiting for this moment for a while and the reason for him being here besides to see V. The table chuckled lightly before looking back at me, I walked over to Veronica and pulled her up, snaking my arm around her waist. "Veronica here is three months pregnant, we're expecting a baby." I announced and waited for the reactions. Everyone cheered and shouted their congratulations; pouring more drinks to celebrate. "You can drink you know, just because I can't doesn't mean you can't!" V giggled handing me a beer

"It wouldn't be fair, I said we'd do this together and I meant it." I replied pushing the bottle of beer away. She sighed and shoved it back in my direction "Seriously, drink it. Don't worry about me." she winked and walked away to talk to the guests.

Maybe a few wouldn't hurt...

...but it did.

A/N I'm sorry it took me ages to update:( I've been literally so busy with exams and homework and stuff plus this time of year is really busy for me anyway so I'll try to update when I can. I might NOT be able to update until Monday sometime because I've got stuff to do for the rest of this week, including going to Sleeping With Sirens concert on friday! I'm so excited! has anyone seen them live before? It'd be great if you let me know and tell me what they're like etc?(;

Thanks for reading!<3