Earth (Complete)

Nineteen

I managed to avoid mother's incessant questions about my lovely time with Jeremy, telling her that I was tired and needed some rest. She offered to make me some hot coco or tea afterwards, which was really shocking. But I rejected her offer as kindly as I could.

I couldn't drink anything, or eat anything. The events of the day had launched a full on guilt trip and I couldn't hop off the wagon this time. Mother had left me alone with my thoughts thereafter. Why was I born into a life of privilege? Why did I get the best and others were left to suffer around me? And how on Earth had I lived this way for so long?

Entering into my room, I changed into my comfy dress and plopped face down into my pillow on my bed. Before I could drift away into a peaceful slumber, my phone rang. Fearing it might be Jeremy, I ignored the call. It rang a few more seconds then stopped.

A minute passed and the ringing began once more. Irritated, I got up and grabbed it off my nightstand to check caller ID. Dylan Sawyer. I had to take a deep breath before answering this phone call and my subconscious wished me good luck as I did just that and placed the phone to my ear.

"How was your bath of milk and honey, Cleopatra?" His mocking voice filled my ear and I felt my anger spike at his tone.

"I didn't like it if that's what you're asking." I snapped back, trying hard to keep my voice even.

"Sure you didn't." He sighed, "Ah, well, have you decided what you're going to do about your life? Or are you going to tell me we have to 'move on'?"

I frowned in disbelief. Why was he being like this? In that moment, a single word popped into my head, and I called him out on it. "You're jealous. Of Jeremy."

He laughed. "Please. I'd be more jealous if you were fucking your twin brother." My jaw went slack. "Alright, listen, princess. You call me when you're ready to stop playing pretend in your little fucked up world. In the meantime, why don't we call it quits?"

"You're kidding me?"

"Nah. I don't play when it comes to this stuff."

My head cocked back despite the fact that he couldn't actually see me. "So instead of trying, you'll just end it?"

"Yeah." He replied simply. "Unless you have a better solution."

I didn't. This was literally our only option. We lived in two different worlds and now it was time to end the fun.

He sighed. "C'mon, Janie. Don't make this harder than it already is."

I sniffed back angry tears that had built up during this conversation, and snapped. "It doesn't seem very hard for you."

A moment of hesitation, then, "Letting go of you, Janie Bear – is the hardest thing I've had to do."

The sincerity in his deep voice filled up my tiny beating heart and I wanted to punch him through the phone. I hated how weak he made me, how tears came so easily for him. And despite the candor of his words, I couldn't accept it.

"Why don't you say that to my face – then maybe I'll believe you." I challenged. A long silence passed over the call. For a minute, I thought he hung up.

Until he sighed and said, "I'll be there in thirty minutes."

The called ended. I was left in silence, thinking about what had just happened and left to sit and wait for him for the next thirty minutes. And on cue, Dylan appeared outside my window half an hour later. I didn't actually think he'd pitch.

Some part of me willed him to change his mind and turn back halfway through. But the stubborn part wanted him there, just so I could tell him that his attempts at making me feel guilty were futile, and I was already there.