Earth (Complete)

Thirty six

A/N:

I know its been a while... sorry. Been studying x_x things get hectic from here on out. Consider this your heads up.

enjoy :)

Jade

****

Do you know how it feels to have a hole in your chest? To just feel like there's a huge fucking hole that someone sawed right through your middle. Well, I do. And it hurt. It hurt like hell. I cried for two days straight. Didn't know what else to do with my time other than cry.

On the third day, I was certain I'd lost half the water in my body and would die of dehydration. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. What did happen was that I was left with an empty chest. And suddenly, I could relate to Twilight.

I could be like her, you know. The girl from Twilight. Bella, I think her name is. I could totally pull a 'Bella'. My Edward left and now I could go all batshit and get depressed and stay like that foreverrr. Or, at least, just until my Edward came back. If my Edward came back.

Unfortunately, that's not allowed to happen in my life. Because I'm getting married. I am the bride to be. I'm not allowed to go batshit and get depressed.

I couldn't blame anyone but myself, obviously. I said 'yes', and this was the consequence. I lost him. And I suppose now I've seen that real side of him. I forced the fuck boy aside, and seen the broken man he is inside. I guess next time I should be a little less determined to pry him open. If there ever is a next time.

I took to looking for him, try and explain what happened. I searched everywhere. Visited the club, the place where they held the Suitors Ceremony and took another trip to the Square. He was nowhere to be found.

That's when I decided to overstep the boundaries and take a trip up north. I traveled 56 sections by tram, walked 127 houses down and landed on the doorstep of the Sawyers'. I knocked a couple of times and soon was greeted with a feminine pair of angry green eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Sydney seethed.

I let out a nervous breath, keeping my shameful eyes downcast. "I came to see him."

She scoffed. "Well if you do, tell him to come home."

My eyes shot to her retreating head and I called out for her. "What do you mean? He's... he's not here?"

Her tired face pulled into a weird position as she looked at me in disgust. "How dare you! How dare you take my boy away from me, break his heart and then come here, begging for sympathy! Who the hell do you think you are?" I jumped back at her sudden outburst, shocked to see such a calm person act out so violently. "You can't just go around messin' with people! It doesn't work like that! You need to leave. You need to–" She was cut off by a heavy cough, followed by another one, then another one. I moved towards her to help but she swatted my hand away. "Don't you touch me!" She took deep breaths, heaving in air as she stood up straight and pointed to the street. "You better get the hell out of my section before I call the cops."

Yeah, that went well. When plan A fails, go for B.

Plan B: holding everything in. All the pain and torment. I bottled that shit up and drowned it with shots of cranberry vodka and double tequilas.

My pre-bachelorette was, by far, the most fun I had since Dylan disappeared. I did body shots with random half-dressed men, danced until my feet hurt, and wore the shortest dress I owned. I got wolf whistles blown my way and tipsy guys trying to feel me up. I got so fucked up – I didn't even think it was humanly possible.