50 shades darker

10

"Niall, my darling!"

Yes, Harry didn't know what to say. Niall opened his eyes and he looked foggy up at him. Harry tried to smile through his tears and he held Nialls hand tightly. He saw that Niall weakly tried to smile, under the oxygen mask. He squeezed Harry's hand and that was all that Harry needed.

"It will be fine." he whispered sobbing and he leaned forward and kissed Niall on the forehead. "Everything will be fine, wait and see."

Niall knew he could trust Harry. Niall realized he was in the hospital and he knew he would get the care he needed. He had long been in the fog, but it was Harry's presence that caused him to come back. The entire body ached and it really hurt, but the pain was nothing against the love that Niall felt. The body would heal and Niall would come home, that was at least what he wanted.

----

The doctor looked long at Niall. They had changed the bandages and even the doctor saw that it hurt, but he also saw that Niall managed it. Harry came back in and he slid into the chair. The doctor looked down at the papers, and he cleared his throat a little.

"You heal your wounds and this will get better." he said, and then he looked at Niall again. "But I'm afraid you will have reduced sensation in some places and maybe that your skin will be altered from what it was before."

Harry frowned.

"And that means?"

The doctor didn't know what to say. He stuck to the facts.

"Niall was damaged and many of the nerves were damaged. He might lose the feeling in some places, and he will have scars over the body."

Niall got big eyes and he began to understand.

"But I get well?"

The doctor nodded a little bit.

"Yes, you will be fine. I only speak about what I think, it's up to you and the time to tell us where we will land."

Niall nodded.

"What about scars? Are they large, small or maybe just pale scars?"

The doctor swallowed.

"That we know later on." he got up. "I can't say more right now, but when we get closer to the end of the healing, we can talk about ways to improve your skin."

Niall hesitated.

"Improving my skin?"

He nodded.

"Yes, there's surgery to make. You can bring We take skin from healthy areas and put where it's needed, and you can do quite a few things to get your body to get better."

Niall panicked. He wanted to sit up, but he wasn't there yet. He couldn't.

"So I'm going to be ugly?"

Harry squeezed his hand tightly and he looked at them both. Scar? So Niall would be permanent like that?

"Yes!" whispered the doctor uncertain. "I know it's hard to understand, but you will get used to it. I think it's better you are happy that you are still alive."

----

Niall guessed softly that he would look different. Yes, his face was normal and his hands, but the rest of the front of his body was like no other. The first time he saw himself in the mirror, he stood and cried for an hour. Yes, he was ugly. He was filled with marks from the whip. All over the stomach, chest, thighs, arms, everywhere it was straight scar that stretched across the skin. He knew it would take time to accept this, even daring to show the body to Harry. Niall was ashamed of himself and it came moments when he wished he had died.

----

The nurse gave Harry all recipes.

"Here the ointment he must take morning and evening. Here are the ointment that he will take if it starts bleeding..." Yes, she gave Harry several pieces and Niall just stared at her. He was wearing big pants, big shirts and everything just to hide the body. He sighed and took the bag from the bed. Harry didn't seem to care. He took everything, and he was ready to collect it from the pharmacy. He turned cheerfully around to Niall.

"Ready to go home?"

Niall nodded tired. Yes, he was ready. He tried to smile, but it become just a jerk in his mouth.

----

Niall didn't know what to feel. He came into the bedroom and he sat down on the bed. He peered toward the closet, and he knew that the playroom was behind it. A playroom that had been so important in their relationship, but now felt strange. Niall looked down at his arm. He pulled up the shirt and he looked at the scars that were there. Marks as talked about that Ed had hated him, wanted to kill him and screaming at him. Yet hadn't Niall retained a clear memory of what had really happened. He had told the police what he thought happened, but deep down, he had no idea. He only remembered the panic in the body and the pain at first, but then it was all just foggy, almost black.

"How is it?"

Harry came into the room and he looked carefully at Niall. He brought in the bag with all the ointments and stuff. Niall looked up.

"It's okay!" but that was a lie. Harry smiled and he walked toward the bathroom.

"Take off your clothes, I'll be sure to rub you're skin right away."

Niall got big eyes. What?

"No, Harry!"

Harry came back in surprise.

"But I want to help you?"

Niall stood up and he shook his head quickly.

"I do it myself."

Harry seemed to hesitate. He looked long at Niall and he frowned.

"But..."

Niall was afraid, he didn't want that Harry would see Nialls body, not yet.

"I'm doing it myself. Trust me."

Harry swallowed. Yes, he almost behaved as if he was afraid.

"But I want to."

Niall shook the head again.

"No, I do it on my own. Okay?"

Harry chose to nod and he chose not to fight about it.

"I go down and make dinner."

Niall nodded and he watched as Harry left the room. Yes, there had been gaps between them. Harry wanted to do so much for Niall, but he couldn't. Niall wanted to conceal what had happened and he wanted to hide the body. He didn't want to remind Harry about what had happened.

Niall walked slowly into the bathroom. He took off his clothes and he looked down at the body. Not even Niall could accept this. He took the ointment, and he slowly began to smear it on the arms. It still hurts in some places, but it was healed. He frowned and he pulled his fingers over the rough skin. He just wanted to scream, he just wanted to cry and he just wanted to die, but he continued. The chest, the stomach. Down along the thighs and knees. Everything was ugly, blushing and dented. Niall fought with himself and when he was finished, he quickly took his clothes on and he took a deep breath. He hated himself.