50 shades darker

20

Harry had been sympathetic and said yes to it all, but now as he was sitting next to Niall on the couch and stared at the psychologist he regretted it, almost. Yet he try to bite the bullet.

"So how are you feeling today, Niall, to put this behind you?"

Niall seemed to want to talk. Harry looked quickly at him and he put the body down a little more like a bag on the couch. Harry chose to look at those paintings that hung on the wall. It was also some diploma of what the psychologist had done. It was his name on them, Mick and he appeared to be good at what he did.

"So Harry what do you do about it all?"

Harry peered back at Mick.

"I do my best for Niall?"

He smiled.

"I know, but when it gets hard and he gets these ideas, what do you do?"

Harry regretted that he hadn't listened. Niall smiled a little bit and took his hand.

"Harry will do anything to stand behind me. He even shut the playroom. just for me."

Harry lost his breath. Would they be that open?

"I understand that." Mick said, and made a note. "Yes, I understand it was a sacrifice. But at the same time necessary?"

Harry swallowed.

"Well, perhaps?"

Niall squeezed his hand.

"But you did it for me?"

Harry gulped and he quickly looked at Niall.

"For us...."

Damn, this didn't go as planned. Harry wanted deep down to keep the playroom, but he didn't feel it was time to talk about that part. It was a sensitive subject and Niall seemed to believe what Harry had said so far.

"How are you holding up, without the room?" Mick asked, as if he felt that it was important. Harry swallowed.

"I guess I'm missing some pieces, but Niall and I'll bring the games to the bed and..." he blushed and he looked down at the floor. "I'm not used to talking like this open.

Mick understood him. He smiled wryly and he regarded Harry carefully.

"It tends to be in that way." he said kindly and friendly. "Those who have the most to hide are ashamed to talk about it, but you should be the opposite, given what you have experienced?"

Harry cleared his throat a little bit.

"But I'm changed and many things that I've done, I regret."

Mick recorded that and noted it down.

"And how do you feel today when we talk about it?"

Harry frowned.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Mick looked straight at him. His gray eyes caught the entire Harry.

"But that's why you're here. I'm sworn to secrecy, and I want to know everything to be able to help you."

Niall nodded at him.

"Yes, you know it's about helping each other."

----

Maura looked pleased. She slid down at the kitchen table and smiled at Niall.

"I see you're feeling better?"

Niall nodded and he blushed a little.

"We have found back to each other, and we go to a psychologist and talk."

She cleared her throat a little.

"I know I don't have anything to do with it, but I don't like that room? I mean... after all that has happened?"

Niall was calm and Maura saw at him that she didn't have to worry about anything.

"He shut the door."

She was relieved.

"So no more room?"

Niall shook his head, and he was proud over Harry.

"He has put all that behind him and he's a changed man."

Harry heard the words as Niall told Maura. He had happen to land outside the door and immediately he retreated to the office. Yes, he was ready to do everything for the blonde Irishman, but at the same time it started to tingle in his fingers. He missed the smell of leather from the room. The feeling of absolute power and the feeling of being in control. He sat down behind the desk and he closed his eyes. He tried to breathe, and he tried to think of something else. He missed those moments when he could just walk up to Niall, touch him, and then they did everything. Now all was on Nialls wish  and slowly slid Harry into an uncertain fog. He wanted more. He wanted to feel butterflies in the stomach, control and power.

Harry pulled out the drawer and he looked at the whip, which he had left in the shadow. It was the first whip which he had bought, because he needed control. It was right after Simon and Harry had stopped to play. He had used it over the years, lubricated it with oil so that the leather wouldn't dry and that gave him memories. He frowned and he growled at himself. He knew better. He sensed that he had become like Ed in end, if he didn't dropped all this, and Harry wasn't as crazy as Ed was. He let his fingers glide over the leather and he felt how it become hard between the legs. Yes, he wanted the leather, the belts and all that, but Niall had put out clear boundaries. Harry understood him. When Harry had emptied the room, Niall had backed down and looked terrified when Harry held up the different tools. Harry had seen the pain in his eyes and his heart had been hurt. He didn't want to scare Niall.

Harry took up the whip. He pulled down the zipper and picked the hard one out. He then put the whip slip over his hard part and he groaned. Yes, he loved that feeling. He put his head askew and he bit his lip. He leaned back and he let the tip of the whip sliding up and down. He remembered so well when Simon did all that. Harry had loved it. Simon had even gone that far that he had a leather strap around Harry's hardness and bullets, down there. Only that pain had gotten Harry to almost come. He remembered how the body relaxed and he let Simon have control, total control.

Harry had slowly realized that he too wanted to be in control. He had then fixed so that he got himself a young lover, as he tested things on. Harry couldn't remember his name, but he remembered how he slowly realized one thing. He was born to be dominant. He had an outlet for everything in the game and he had sometimes loved to the pain that he created. Every time his victim had screamed, turned his head toward the ceiling, it had been felt throughout Harry's body. Yes, it was madness. Harry knew it wasn't normal and he should back off. But still did this that he missed it more. He loved to bind something over the eyes, walk around and know that the person just heard his step. When the whip then touched a naked skin, it was wonderful.

Harry wasn't aware when he arrived and come. The hand had done the job and Harry's imagination had given him a certain part of it all. He almost cry when he felt how the body came, he felt his hand become wet with cum and he opened his eyes. Harry felt that he never wanted to force Niall again, no that wasn't the dream. He knew that all the bad stuff was behind him, but he missed it so much. He missed it so fervently that it hurt almost as bad as the day he saw the scars of Nialls gorgeous body.