50 shades darker

12

Harry tried to lie close to Niall. He felt Niall spanned the entire body, but Harry wanted to show that he wouldn't hurt him and he knew that Niall trusted him, deep down.

"Harry, I..."

Harry took his one arm under Nialls head, lay close to his back and just showed caution.

"I don't want to lie three meters away from the person I love."

Niall groaned.

"Harry, this isn't the time to..."

Harry kissed him lightly under the ear and he took the other hand around his stomach, over the thick sweater as Niall wanted to wear.

"We'll just sleep." he whispered hoarsely. "I'm not going to tempt fate."

Niall put his head down. He didn't relaxed but he accepted it.

"I have pain at some places."

Harry dug in his nose into Nialls hair.

"I know, darling, I know."

Niall swallowed.

"And I'm not ready for anything yet."

Harry smiled.

"You don't need to apologize."

Harry closed his eyes. He couldn't fall asleep because he almost felt the pain as Niall had. There was no pain as Harry did to him, there was a deeper pain. He felt Niall slowly relaxed. It took time, but eventually he was really calm throughout the body, and when Harry heard how he fell asleep, then Harry could do the same. He knew it would take time, but in a way it was a hassle. Nevertheless, he was determined, as always. He knew that someday it would get better.

-

Harry woke up first. He lay with his stomach toward Niall. He opened his eyes and noted that the sweater had gone up. Nialls stomach was exposed and direct Harry couldn't help but stare. He saw the scars, the pink scars that filled Nialls stomach. He almost felt his stomach twisted. It was as if he looked straight into hell. He saw what Ed had done, although it was only about a small piece of skin. Harry wished he could see the rest. Niall hadn't shown him anything and now Harry knew why. He tried not to move, he didn't want to wake Niall up. He chose to continue staring at the belly. It was as if the truth came up to him and he understood. Niall was ashamed over his own body. he was ashamed that he had changed and they couldn't do anything about it.

Harry had tears in his eyes as he thought of the pain as Niall had been through. He swallowed and he chose to pull down Nialls sweater and hide the tummy. After all, it was Nialls right not show anything. It was Nialls right to hide the body as Ed had destroyed. He wiped away the tears and he slipped away from Niall. It was as if the grief came back. That fear when Niall wasn't there and when Niall was a prisoner. Harry chose to go into the bathroom and he locked the door. He turned on the shower, but he stood on the floor and just cried. All this was Harry's fault. It was Harry who had destroyed Ed and who had done so that Ed did this to Niall. It should have been Harry who had been there. It should be Harry who was whipped and tortured. Then a new thought come up. No, it should be Harry who smashed Ed. It should be Harry who beat the crap out of that idiot.

A knock on the door.

"I need to pee!"

Harry wiped his eyes and he quickly tore off his clothes. He slipped into the shower.

"I open at once!" he said quickly, and made so that the whole body was wet. He shut off, took a towel on the body and was happy to shower hid the tears. He slipped away towards the door and opened it. Niall blushed a bit and he looked embarrassed down on the floor.