[ P i p e l i n e ]

[ o o ] pipeline [ o o ]

30 years later.

The man ran across the lawn, chasing two little children who were running away from his wiggling fingers.

   “Here comes the monster!” The man said, crouching a bit to scare off the children. The children were laughing, and so was the woman sitting on the bench by the sliding glass door leading to the living room.

   “No, daddy, no!” The little girl cried, and yet her shining teeth were showing. The two children could smile even from the littlest of things.

   The mother said in between laughs, “Hey, you two, you better be done soon because lunch time is almost here.”

   “Yes, mommy!” The two children answered, still running. One hid behind the tree, but the father caught him from behind, making the little boy shriek in surprise.

   “Got’cha!” The father said, carrying the boy so high that the boy felt like he was already flying.

   “Me next, me next!” The other child—the girl—held her hands up in jealousy.

   “Aw, of course, my little darling—” But that promise was broken right when something rang from the father’s pants pocket. He fished his cell phone out and told his two little children, “I’ll be right back. I’ll give you your promised fly time later, okay sweetheart?” And then he ruffled both of his children’s heads and then walked inside the living room, the mother’s eyes following him with concern, but did not tail behind. Instead, she was the one to replace the father, keeping the kids preoccupied until the father was done with his call.

   Trust, that was what the woman gave to her husband. A handful of trust not many people could give a person easily.

   “Hello?” The voice from the other end of the phone said. The husband’s eyes widened with surprise.

   “Grey?” He said. “Grey, is that you?”

   “Raven, Raven, where are you?” Grey said. Raven kitted his eyebrows in confusion.

   “What? Why? Plus, it’s been a while since we’ve talked. We should—”

   “Look Raven, as much as I’d even like to drink alcohol with you the whole night today I’d just like to ask one thing first—Where. Are. You?”

   “At my house, why?”

   “Well, Fae’s parents have been looking for you  right after those seven years after she died. You promised her you would never leave her.”

   Raven Ross fell silent. He didn’t want to tell everything to Grey, the best friend he has been with for years but has also been one of the people he has been trying to avoid ever since her death. He didn’t want to remember her again. He didn’t want to experience another year of heartless misery.

   “Yes. Yes I did.”

   “Do you know what date it is?”

   Raven’s eyes started to blur. Tears were blocking his eyesight. He didn’t want them to roll down, showing defeat and vulnerability. “Yes. Yes I do.”

   Silence could be heard for a minute, not counting the laughing and shouting from outside, where the two children and their mother were. 

   “Raven,” Grey finally said. “Don’t you want to see her again?”

   “I don’t want to be hurt again.”

   “But don’t you want to risk it? Just so you can see her again?”

   “All I will ever see is a tombstone with her name and the year she spent her whole lifetime in this world. Add in a stupid R.I.P., and that’s one of the main reasons why I try not to go there anymore.”

   “But she’s still there.”

   “No.”

   “Raven.”

   “Dude, just leave me alone, okay? I still need to do something.”

   “What?”

   Raven couldn’t answer back. Out of all people, Grey was one of the many who didn’t know Raven already had a family. Grey, who was always a good friend when it comes to listening to his best friend whenever he’s down or depressed.

   Raven was back to the stupid fucktard he always was, when he still hasn’t met her.

   I love you.

   Raven pressed the end call button and put his phone back in his pocket. He wiped the tears away and looked at himself on his reflection on the living room television, checking to see if it was obvious that he cried. And then he walked back outside, a simple smile visible on his face.

   “Come here, you!” He screamed and then ran to carry his daughter higher than he ever has. Both of his children were having  very fun time, and so was his wife, who walked beside him and kissed his cheek.

   He didn’t feel anything. Not then.

   “Who was that?” The wife asked her husband. Raven thought for a minute.

   “Oh, just someone from work.”

   The wife looked at Raven for a minute, then said, “Are you sure about that?”

   Raven dropped his daughter and looked at his wife, kissing her cheek like she did with him. “Of course I am.”

He was only a few steps away from her.

   He made a huge mistake. A very huge mistake.

   He thought he could forget about her, even though he didn’t want to. He had a new family, one that Fae could never give him. But now that he’s only a few feet away, he realizes something.

   Family isn’t just about having children. Family also consists of true love from the two parents. You can even just adopt children, but you can never adopt true love. If there isn’t true love in two people, you can never create a family. A happy family, at the least. A happy family isn’t just about children, but Raven didn’t figure that out soon. He was too preoccupied by the sadness Fae left in him. He didn’t think about anything else.

   Rain was dripping on his head, but when Grey offered his umbrella, he was still motionless. His eyes were fixated on the tombstone standing on the earth, forever in the companionship of other tombstones other people owned. He hoped Fae was happy with them. He hoped Fae was happy wherever she was right then, because he could care less if he’s happy or not. The fact that Fae is happy can already make his day complete.

   “I’m sorry, dude.” Grey whispered behind him. Raven didn’t reply. I’m sorry.

   Deaths are events that lead to apologies most people don’t really care, because they’re too busy blaming themselves for the death of their loved one too much to the point that they isolate themselves with just standing there on the ground, looking blankly at the dead body with tears in your eyes.

   Raven was stupid. He was also selfish.

   And he will never get the chance to say another sorry in front of her ever again.

   Raven was stupid.

   And he can never, ever, change the past again.

   I know I will never see you again,

   Unless I end up stuck in the same place you are in now right after I die.

   I know I will never see you again,

   But please accept my apology.

   I’ll even say it over and over again.

   I love you Fae.

   Forever and ever and ever and ever

   I’m sorry.

Raven.