[ 1 4 ] forever [ r a v e n ]

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by the_Dreamer13

by the_Dreamer13

forever [adv.]: 1. For all time, for all eternity; for an infinite amount of time; 2. For an excessively long time; 3. For a very long time, ‘an’ eternity.

She’s not happy.

At least, that was what she looked like.

The least emotion I wanted to see plastered on my girlfriend’s face was a sad face, and now that I see her in it, I’m not happy.

We’re both not happy.

And I also know the reason why Fae is mostly not happy with.

It is because I was there. With her; seeing her for the last time.

I couldn’t grant her wish. I just couldn’t. I love her, yes. I love her very much, but not being with her while she’s in the toughest situation of her life… that would just kill me enough.

So I went there, using a handful of persuasion on making Tala tell me where the fucking hospital is.

But when I finally got inside, it was like someone splashed a bucket filled with regret on me.

She looked awful.

And I cried.

I cried, a lot. The one thing she didn’t want me to see doing, I did. Right in front of her helpless body.

She already looked like a corpse.

I was only inside for a slight second, because I’m not allowed inside her room (close relatives only) but still… I cried. And I bet she cried, too, because from that slight second, we locked eyes for one last time. One last time, before she let go.

I don’t want any “one last time”’s. I want “again”’s. I don’t want everything to end.

But everything ends.

I should have made her life happier before she got sicker that she couldn’t take it anymore. I should have gave her an experience of a lifetime before she died. One last happiness.

I hope her last happiness included me.

A very common story, yes. I know some people experience different kinds of cancer, and I never really cared about it. Until now, when someone I truly loved had that one disease I didn’t mind at all, because I was too preoccupied about the fact that “She will be forever mine”, because I never knew she was capable of having cancer. She never told me. I was blind.

Should I blame her?

I don’t think I should. I blame myself. And that stupid person who started that hereditary disease in the first place.

I never knew my life would end just because of a stupid disease. A stupid, fucking disease that would leave a huge scar in my heart forever.

I don’t think I’ll love any more. I don’t think I will. My heart’s too broken to find another one to replace her.

No one can ever replace her.

She was one-of-a-kind. A VIP in my normal life. She was someone whom no one can imitate.

She was special.

And now she’s gone.

I hate my life.