The List || h.s au

Don't tell me it's wrong

Where was he? It is almost ten and I haven't seen him yet. I thought he was going to come with Niall, but he's already here, snogging in a corner with Jess, while Harry is still absent. Did he know about the party? Maybe he is here, but there's so many people that I can't find him.

What if he knew I was here, and he didn't come because he wanted to avoid me? It must be that. Oh my God, Kim what have you done? I'm such an idiot, thinking he would actually feel something, and now I ruined our friendship just like I ruined the one I had with Carla. 

I'm the worst person in the world, I always fuck up things, damn it. Why couldn't I think before kissing him?! Was it even that necessary? It made me fucking desperate and I've spent basically the whole time looking for him. It is such a waste, but I can't stop myself. I need to talk to him, to know how he feels, so I can at least get over it easily.

But how am I suppose to that when he's not even there?!

The only positive thing is that Jessica found the time to socialize with Niall, while waiting for Harry, and thought the blonde lad was suddenly more interesting than his friend. I should be happy about it, but I'm too nervous to have fun or be excited.

Where the fuck is he?!

"Damn it" I groan and walk in the kitchen, filling myself a cup off beer. I lay my back on the fridge and take a sip of my drink, observing the people around me. Everyone seems to have so much fun, and I should too, but I can't. Should I leave the party and go see him at his flat? Should I call him? I wanted to do it earlier, but I didn't want to feel noisy. But now that it was getting late, I can easily blame it on the fact that I'm drunk. Which I'm not.

I was too focused on finding him that I didn't touch a drink. Now, it doesn't really matter since he isn't here. I finish my beer and fill by cup again. Leaving the kitchen, I make my way through the crowd of people and find a seat on the coach. Bruce and Jess were lucky that no one stained their white sofas, it'll be sad if some spilled their drink over it.

"Kimmy!"

Fuck.

I don't even turn around when I hear Nathan call my name. I cross my legs and stare out the window, admiring the amazing view of London at night. From the flat, you could see the London's eye, and not far away, the Big Ben. It was just so beautiful with all the lights and stars. I wish I could see that from my flat.

"Hey babe, how've you been?" Nathan asks and sits next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Get off me" I groan and move his member off my body. I stand up but he imitates me and grips my wrist.

"C'mon babe, don't walk away from me" I can see that he's drunk and I start to feel uncomfortable under his stare.

"Let me go Nathan" I snap, trying to release my wrist but he only tightens his grip. He smirks and pulls me in closer to him in a brusque movement. I gasp and drop my cup, splitting the last few sips of my drink on the white couch. Oops.

"What if I don't want to?" He whispers, his drunken breath hitting my face with every word. 

"Leave her alone" I hear someone say behind me and I tense, recognizing the voice. Nathan looks behind my shoulder and I see him gulp before releasing me. I step back, stumbling on my feet, but Harry catches me before I fall.

"I don't want you to ever approach or talk to her like this again, you hear me?" Harry snaps while I stand on my feet, his arm still wrapped protectively around my waist. I look back at Nathan and see him shrug before turning around and disappearing between the group of people. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I slowly spin on my heels and meet the gorgeous green eyes I've learn to adore and see the worry filling them.