The List || h.s au

Bad news?

I immediately shut my eyes and pretend to sleep just to avoid the subject. I hear Harry sigh and I'm sure he's running a hand through his hair out of frustration.

"Kim, I know you're awake. Stop being a child and explain what she said." I keep my eyes close, thinking he'll give up and anyway, I'm already quite tired, I'm probably going to fall asleep soon  because of the medicine.

"Now." His hard tone makes the lump rise up in my throat and I mentally slap the nurse again, cursing at her for not keeping her mouth shut. I groan and open one eye to see him staring at me with a rather angry face. I open the other one and smile awkwardly and he huffs, rolling his eyes.

"I know you're in no condition to really talk Kim..." I mentally make a fist pump and the relief calms me down a little. "But you still have to tell me something. A-Are you p-pregnant?"

I take a moment before nodding, I still don't trust my voice right now and I don't want him to know how bad this situation actually is. I don't even know what happened to me and how Amanda found out what was wrong with me, but if I base my thoughts on what the nurse said... There's a tiny chance that I might not be pregnant anymore...But I need more explanations from the doctor first.

"F-for how long?" I can see him lose his cool as he probably thinks he got me pregnant and that he'll be a dad at the age of twenty-one. He keeps a hard look, but the colors slowly drain off his face and I can see the small pearls of sweat on his forehead.

"A m-month." my voice cracks again and I wait for his reaction. He nods and gulps loudly, and I can see he's not here anymore. He's lost in his thoughts and stares right in front of him, at the window across the room.

The door opens again and comes in a middle-aged man wearing a white smock followed by the same nurse. She gives me an apologetic look but I only glare at her.

"Hi Miss Lane, Sir. I'm Doctor Reginald." The man welcomes us with a warmhearted smile while the nurse closes the door and walks over to my bed to check on whatever machine is nourishing me. I give the man a small smile while Harry lets out a faint "hello".

From the look in his eyes, I know he's probably imagining himself changing the diapers of an hysterically crying baby. He's freaking out as much as I am, but I still have my hopes on what the nurse said earlier.

"So I have bad news, or good news depending on how you see it." Doctor Reginald starts and Harry and I  keep our eyes locked on him, our whole future basically depending on his words.

"I'm sorry Miss Lane, but you had a miscarriage." My breath gets caught in my throat at his words. A miscarriage? I lost the baby? How? Why? I just learned that I'm pregnant and now I lose it?

I don't know whether I'm happy or devastate by the news. This is so much information in a such a short period of time, I haven't let everything sink in. And now that I kind of accepted the fact that I'll be a mom, I get a miscarriage!

"Oh Jesus...Kim I'm sorry" Harry lets out. He looks like he's going to faint at any moment and even though he looks as shocked as me, I can see a hint of relief in his eyes.  He takes my shaking hand in his and tries to comfort me by making patterns on it with his thumb. I stay silent, my eyes going from Harry, to my stomach then to the Doctor. This last one stares at me, probably waiting for a reaction but I don't give him this pleasure and keep a blank face.

"H-How?" I manage to ask, my voice barely audible. Dr. Reginald clears his throat then asks the nurse to get him his note pad. She nods and opens a metallic drawer next to my bed, taking a pile of papers and giving them to him.

"First of all Miss Lane, I want to tell you that you were four weeks pregnant. But up to half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first trimester, so it's really common and basically considered a 'normal' part of reproduction." He explains and Harry and I both nod. He holds my hand tighter and gives it a little squeeze, trying to comfort me but I'm not sure if he was more comforting me...or himself.