The List || h.s au

Panic

What happened moments ago still confuses me. Zayn apologizing? That's just crazy. It doesn't look like him, from the few times his team came in London for footballs games, I've never seen him act nicely to anyone. Or apologize for the things he's done.

He just doesn't look like that kind of person. At the same time, we don't know him that much. Maybe he acts all mean and intimidating only during games, just to frighten the opponents? Maybe in Manchester he's a nicer person? The only way to know is to see how he'll act here, in London. 

I wonder how he'll get accepted by us. Basically the whole campus hates him because he has hurt a few of our players during games. And I don't think Bruce will want him in our group of friends, I don't even feel really comfortable with him either, even if he apologized. Anyway, I have enough problems to deal with, Zayn's social situation is none of my business.

"Wasn't he supposed to be mean or something?" Amanda asks and we all gave her unsure looks. What happened was quite confusing, I might say, I still don't know how to feel about it.

"Looks like he's not what we thought he was. Anyway, you guys are ready to leave?" I hear Lucas say and we all nod, taking our cups, throwing them in the garbage, and standing up. The cold November air hits us again and we speed walk over to our respective vehicles. We've agreed to get back to my flat and clean the mess. I'm surely not going to let everything sprawled on the floor.

In the car, Harry's hand finds its usually place on my thigh and we stay in a comfortable silence, enjoying the small moment of peace we have. He hums along to a song quietly playing in the radio while lay my head on the cold car window.

So much has happened since Friday afternoon and there is still a bunch of questions and confusing thoughts running in my mind constantly. If I make a chronological list, it goes from where was Carla during the game? Are they dating, Louis and her? And how did Amanda know that I was going to have a miscarriage? Will I ever tell Harry he wasn't the dad?

And now, who was the vandal? Who hated me so much that they wanted my death or something similar to it? According to the cops, it was a man, but I don't remember infuriating a guy so much, to the point he crashed into my flat and destroyed everything.

Suddenly, a name flashes in my mind. Could it be Nathan? From all the guys I know, he's the only one that could possibly hate me for pushing him away. But he doesn't own a spare key of my flat, so it couldn't be him. Still, I keep a note of my suspicions toward him in the back of my mind and sit straighter in my seat. Harry parks his car and we both get out, him quickly making his way to my side to hold my hand.

Lucas and Liam join us and they tell us Amanda left to check on her restaurant for a moment. We all walk in the lobby and I see the man that helped me a few days ago, talking with the lady at the front desk. He smiles at me and I do the same before stepping inside the elevators with my friends.

When we get back to my flat, it's still as messy as before. I sigh and walk over to Carla's room to check on her. I knock on the door and it slightly opens. I see Carla curled up in her messy bed, her blue eyes staring at some teddy bear on her desk. 

"Good morning." I try to say as politely as possible while enter her room. I'm still angry at her for betraying our friendship and we still haven't had a real discussion since that.

She stays silent, eyes still locked on the stuffed animal and I give her a weird look. I stare at the teddy bear, looking at it more closely to find whatever is wrong with it. When I see nothing, I look back at her and shake my hand in front of her face, getting no reaction from her. Not even a blink.

"Carla?" I slowly start to panic. Were the pain killers so strong to the point they...No! Don't think of it, Kim. But she doesn't answer or react, what's happening to her? Looking back at the teddy bear, I suddenly notice a small pink heart sewed on the small furry chest. I frown, suddenly realizing that I've never seen the toy before today. I reach for it and hold it in my hand, turning around to look at her.