Found You(BWWM)

33%

Colin's Pov

The way her body moved I could stare for hours.The way she laughed.The way she smiled.And the way she always seem to knit her brows when she was thinking.All of that is worth it.Shes worth it.Shes worth putting my past behind me and moving on.I need to trust her if I want to love her.And I think I want to.Is that crazy?To want to love someone?Just not pushing the process of course but waiting till you fully develop as one to tell them.I don't think that's crazy.I think that's human.I think that wanting to be in love is normal.No one wants to be alone forever.No one wants to be truly alone.

Flashback
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"Colin,the babysitter is here."

I grumbled to myself as I went downstairs to greet whoever my mom hired.

"Hello,Colin.I'm Gemma your mom has told me amazing things.I can't wait to play some games .Okay?"Gemma giggled,and went to the living room.

I gave my mom a look.

"What?"she asked.

At this time in my life,the stuttering had gotten worse and my doctor suggested me to not to talk for a week.

Not like I wanted to.

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Flashback over

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"Dont be scared."she told me.My hand shook as I placed it my lap.

"Ill go slow.I promise."Joel smiled,pulling me a little bit closer.

I gulped as she took up my hands and held them.Her hands were so soft.She looked gentle.

Was it because she thinks I'm a baby and she's trying to calm me?Because its working.

"I want you to make me feel good.And I want you to feel good.Its a win win."

My hands shook even more.

"Dont be nervous,okay?I'm not gonna hurt you.Look at me.Look how innocent and sweet I look."She gave me a mega watt smile.

I chuckled at her goofiness.

I wish looks weren't so deceiving.

Flashback
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"Yay!That's perfect! "Gemma grinned,putting the puzzle piece in the right spot.

Her phone rang,making all the puzzle pieces jumble together.

Well that was a waste of time.

"Sorry Colin.Hold on."She took her phone and went to the other room.

Hmmm...now what?

"How could you!?!I trusted you with everything!Fine if you want to be with her go ahead you cheater!"

I heard a crash.

I followed the sound.

Gemma was on the floor crying and her phone was broken into small pieces.

Oh no.

"Im sorry you have to see me like this Colin.I'm so sorry.I'm a mess.No one will ever love me."She sobbed into her sweater some more.

I patted her hair in a comforting motion.Just to show her I was there.

And all of a sudden I was on the floor and she was on top of me.

Flashback over
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"So,are you feeling calm?"Joel asked.

I licked my lips and faked a smile.

"Yup."I lied,running a hand through my hair.

Flashback
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Gemma started ripping off her clothes and I saw everything.

She was naked sitting on top of me and I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to run.I wanted to scream.I wanted to get out.But I couldn't .I couldn't stop her.I couldn't do anything.

Next think I knew,my clothes were off too.My twelve year old body was just maturing so I didn't have anything to offer.So I don't know why she would come after me like that.

Her tears were gone and she was enjoying every minute of it.

Flashback over
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I called it torture.I called it pain.I called it...my fault.

It was all my fault.If I just minded my business.It wouldn't have happened.I would still have my virginity.I wouldnt be afraid to be with someone.And I'm just so afaraid of everything.

I...I wanna forget.I remembered wanting to
take pills.I hated it.I hated life.

But I remember when I prayed to God,He told me everything is gonna be okay.And I believed him.And now I'm here.With someone who really likes me.And I can't show her that I like her too.Because of what happened when I was twelve.I don't wanna hurt again.

I was...disgusted.She was at least 25.At least.Why would she do that to me?Why why why why?????????

"Colin"Joel called.

I wiped away a tear that had fallen.

"You okay?"she asked.

I nodded."I...need...you."

I layed her on the couch and kissed her.With everything I had.With everything I felt.With all the sadness in my heart.With all the joy she made me feel.

And I didn't realize during that kiss,I started having a nervous breakdown.

"Colin!Look at me!Look at me!You have to tell me!You have to tell me!"

I nodded as I cried.

I did.

Now you know.Sorry if it sucked.Its 12 am.

comment ur name and age he he

Xoxo nia