VALERIE

Seventy One

"Johnny, I cant." Valerie managed to mumble out between her quivering lips.

Johnny looked up at her, his forehead creased in confusion as were his eyebrows, "What?"

"I don't think this will help." She admitted plainly whilst moving away from Johnny who was sitting up running his hand through his hair.

Johnny scoffed, "What?"

Valerie had stopped him before anything actually happened, nothing went inside her. He was just petting heavily with his hand.

But she didn't like it, it just didn't feel right.

"I don't feel good." She admitted, Johnny smiled at her, he let out a small snicker and grabbed her face with both of his hands.

"I told you I can make it feel better babe."

She shook her head, "I don't think it will, I just really want to puke."

He removed his hands from her jaw and stood up from the small twin bed.

Pacing around the room, the soft light coming in from the open window illuminated parts of his body softly giving the abs a rich shaded look.

And although Valerie was physically attracted to Johnny she wasn't connected to him emotionally.

She couldn't be.

It just wasn't there and it couldn't be forced.

"Valerie," he said with a small ominous chuckle, "You can't just fucking do that."

"Johnny-"

"No!" He interuppted harshly, "You just can't get a guy excited lead up into almost having sex and then say no, what the fuck?"

Valerie bit down on her bottom lip. Her face getting warm from frustration.

She hated disappointing people. She just hated it but that was what she was good at, disappointing people.

She felt so worthless, so incapable of doing the simplest things that could bring joy to others.

"I need to go." She whispered collecting her phone from the nightstand, getting up from the bed she marched over to the door when Johnny pulled her back by her forearm.

"You're not leaving." His green gaze focusing on her scared rapidly moving pupils that were overly dilated.

"Please, I don't feel good."

Johnny gave her a long lingering hardened gaze that kept adding to her nausea with every passing second.

"You just don't understand, do you think Nick wants you?"

"He has nothing to do with this!" Valerie shouted frustratingly, the hot tears coming from her eyes.

"Yes he does. You don't want me because you still think he wants you. Fucking newsflash Valerie he's with Vanessa. Get. Over. It."

Valerie shook her head, "Please, I need to go. I feel so sick." She pleaded desperately, the voices in her head yelling louder and louder.

She could feel her arm going numb from his deadly grip. Her vision faltered from the tears and her emotions were running rampant. The voices were speaking and they wouldn't shut up.

He laughed, "What does Nick have that I don't? Why does every girl always want him? I don't understand. I'm better looking than him. I'm not an asshole. I'm an athlete, and I'm nice for fucks sake."

Valerie shut her eyes hard, "Let me go or I'll scream."

He smirked, "Answer my question."

The voices were getting louder in her head.