VALERIE

Questions + Answers / Author Note

Read chap 98/epilogue before reading this.

Okay I'm going to ANSWER some questions and just give a little background as to why I did things the way I did.

First off, VALERIE is a 2 part story.

It's only 98 chapters long bc it's 2 stories into one so let's get that fucking clear rn I'll be editing it soon though when I'm out of school and have time to do so but yeah it's 2 stories in one that's why it's so long.

I read all of that for that ending come on wtf?

I'm sorry if you didn't like the ending but in truth Valerie wasn't ever made to last. Think about it, she was constantly suffering. She had a severe case of bipolar disorder with psychosis almost borderline schizophrenic but not quite. She just wasn't meant to   last guys im sorry, she was only ever happy at certain times with Nick and if she wasn't she'd be high of drugs or on her prescription feeling lifeless bc of lithium and other anti-depressants and mood stabilizers.

Okay but why did she die and not Nick?

Remember Mia? The girl who had Nicks baby? You remember Mia, the girl who tried to kill herself for Nick by slicing her wrists and failing at it? Yeah you do. Nick + Valerie turned into crazy murderers, idk if you noticed lol it was Karma. Valerie died because aside from being a good person with a mental disorder she was still a killer and a sadistic torturer, she died by slicing her wrists after she had taken pills. Nick? He didn't die bc it was his karma for all the fucked up shit he ever did. While Mia didn't die from slicing her wrists open, Valerie did. Mia had nothing to do with Valerie's death obviously But it was just karma. What goes around comes around.

Disclaimer: This story wasn't meant to romanticize mental disorders.

Valerie's character was fucking insane if I'm honest but that doesn't partake to others with mental disorders. Mental disorders aren't funny and they sure as fuck aren't fun to have. Valerie doesn't represent all people with bipolar disorder, everyone is different. Valerie was just a case of someone who was constantly battling themselves until she finally self-destructed. Her bipolar disorder was severe which is why I wrote her in the way I did.

Nick also had a mental disorder.

Nick, from the start also had a disorder without knowing it. His father's abuse and mothers abandonment turned him into what he became which was an intelligent young man full of hatred and rage. Antisocial personality disorder. But it just became way more obvious as the story progressed. He was always angry. Didn't really care for the being of others except for his mother, daughter, Valerie and dog. (he would put other people he considered friends in danger like Marco, Jesse and Johnny so did he really care of did he just want to convince himself that he did)? He was manipulative, compulsive, had multiple sexual partners, violent, obviously had a drinking problem, hostile, had a temper... I could go on. Now is he super textbook psycho? No. But he was definitely not well.

Why'd u write this shitty book?

This story came to me at one of the darkest times in my life. I was like 16, super into the 1975 and Lana Del Rey and the concept just came to mind. I had just gotten out out a relationship with the first guy I loved and it was such a volatile relationship and I became obsessed watching Lana Del Rey's and The 1975's music videos that I just based 2 teens off of the music and then I just began to write more in depth. I was reading this psychology book too for my dysthymia and I decided it then and there to study each mental illness and depict them in my story to the best of my abilities.

Okay? but I read way too much still I'm upset at you for ending it like that.

I originally wrote Valerie for me. To get my mind off of shit, and it's still for me. I love it but also hate it. Sometimes I wish I didn't write it because it's a reminder about that dark time then I just remember how many people like it and honestly I didn't expect that. I really didn't, I expected maybe like idk 200 people to read it lol not like a thousand which is such a big deal for a small author like me. But I'm so glad people fucking read it. Tbh I'm glad you guys hate me for the ending bc THAT JUST MEANS I MADE U FEEL SOMETHING FOR THIS STORY/CHARACTERS AND AS AN AUTHOR IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR EVOKING EMOTION AMONGST MY READERS!!!! MUAHAHAHA

but seriously, thank you all for reading. Like seriously if you made it this far congrats like this book is a mess and I will never stop saying it. This story is hella fucking full of twists and turns and I'm just a fucking devil tbh but okay thank you so much. For all the love, hate, support, it just idk, I'm just really happy u guys liked it and that's all that matters to me. I'm grateful for everyone one of u real talk.

Please if you have anymore questions ask and I'll answer to the best of my abilities if not, cool thank u so much.

Love u all, xxmils 💖