nigel farage comes for tea

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by wondxrwoman

by wondxrwoman

(If you don't know who Nigel Farage is for some reason, watch this clip. Fucking. Racist. Asshole. ((This isn't him being racist but it's him being a two-faced asshole.)) He's basically the Donald Trump of the UK. BTW WHO TF IS READING THIS LIKE IT GAINED 50 VIEWS OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS WHO JUST GOES ON WATTPAD AND THINKS TO THEMSELF, "You know what I really want to read today? Wallace and Gromit smut." FUCKING HELL LMAO this isn't really even smut idek what this is. I feel like I'm being stalked by people from Instagram to be honest. IN WHICH CASE HELLO! )

oNE DAY RIGHT Wallace and Gromit were sittin at le kitchen tableeeEEEeEE e and ten Wallace were liek "oh and btw I invited nigel farage to tea" (in this context, tea means dinner, for all yous Americans out there) den gromit was liek "wHAT WHY ARE YOU DUMB-DUMB?!?!?!?!" den Wallace smirked and he were liek "dw babe Shrek has it covered" and GromGroms was liek "wait what" den Shrek burst throhgh teh door and he were liek "muHAHAHhahahahahahAHAHAHAHAa" and he burst into flames and suddenlt all le lights went off and Shrek said "BEHOLD IT IS I, SATAN, USING SHREK AS A VESSEL AND I AM HERE TO RID YOU OF THIS RACIST IDIOT YOU CALL, MICHAEL FARAGE." and Gromete was like "wehey tes es gon be v fun innit wallacey" and wallacey were liek "yh m8" and they all started laughing demonically for 3.666 hours.

den suddenly dere was a knock on le door and it was nigel farage making out wie Donald [Tan]Trump and nigel quickly threw Donald duck into a nearby convenient bush and he were liek "whey" den Wallace opened the door.

"sup" sayd nigel

"piss off" said Wallace.

nigel said "lol you wish" and went inside le house and sat down at le tabell and ate all the cheese and crackers and he drank all the tea.

gromit gasped and he was liek "RIGHT THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW. HIT IT, SATAN." and Shrek/Satan were liek "I GOT YOU OLD BUDDY OLD PAL" and ten he made lightning hit farage and farage was like "oh knickers" and den he was vaporised by le lightning of doom and he was just a pile of dust on le floor.

ten everyone in Britain was v happy and tey were liek "yAYAYAYAYAY" and tehn everyoneeeeEEeEe changed their religion to be Satanists and den Wallace made out with Gromit in celebration.

FIN.