ENglishH to Americano dictionario innit

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by wondxrwoman

by wondxrwoman

Here is an English to False English- *cough* I mean, um, American.. Dictionary... For any, um, confused betrayers- I mean, um, confused Americans... out there... Heh... (Also I couldn't be bothered to crop the image lol sorry)

Knickers; English, noun: a woman's or girl's undergarment, covering the body from the waist or hips to the top of the thighs and having two holes for the legs. Roughly translates to; panties (I can't say panties without laughing I'm sorry lmao). e.g. When Kirstie fell over in school, her skirt flew upwards and her knickers were exposed for all to see.

Pants; English, noun: underpants or knickers. Roughly translates to; boxers and panties. e.g. In drama, during the rehearsals for the song "Be Back Soon", Paul (the name has been changed)bent down and his pants went down with him, exposing his butt crack.

Wardrobe; English, noun: a large, tall cupboard in which clothes may be hung or stored. Roughly translates to; closet. (I get this wrong like a lot when talking to Americans whoops ). e.g. There is one shirt in Kirstie's wardrobe. The rest are on the floor.

Biscuit; English, noun: a small baked unleavened cake, typically crisp, flat, and sweet. Roughly translates to; cookie. e.g. Kirstie was pissed because her mum ate all of the biscuits.

Cookie; English, noun: a big-ass biscuit. Roughly translates to; cookie (idk probably). e.g. Kirstie was convinced that Nigel Farage had a cookie shoved up his arse.

Scone; English, noun: a small unsweetened or lightly sweetened cake made from flour, fat, and milk and sometimes having added fruit. Roughly translates to; biscuit (I hate America like YOU'VE RUINED SCONES NOW ARE YOU HAPPY!?!?!?!) e.g. Because it is a stereotype, it must be true that the British love to indulge in a good scone and a cup of their finest tea.

Trousers; English, noun: an outer garment covering the body from the waist to the ankles, with a separate part for each leg. Roughly translates to; pants. e.g. The chav's trousers were way too low and everyone could see his hairy-ass balls.

Rooty Tooty Point and Shooty; English (according to the Americans), noun: a weapon incorporating a metal tube from which bullets, shells, or other missiles are propelled by explosive force, typically making a characteristic loud, sharp noise. Roughly translates to; gun. e.g. "GET ON THE FLOOR OR I'LL SHOOT YOU WITH MY ROOTY TOOTY POINT AND SHOOTY!" Yelled the robber.

Twat; English, noun: vulgar slang. 1. a great word to shout out. 2. a woman's genitals. 3. a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious. Roughly translates to; idiot or vagina. e.g. Matt is a homophobic, transphobic, sexist TWAT that needs to go and make some toast in a bathtub.

Eeejit (also,' idjit'); Scottish slang which the Americans STOLE, noun: A person who is considered foolish or stupid. Roughly translates to; idiot. e.g. It is a well-known fact in Britain that all Americans are eejits.

Fib; English, noun: a lie, typically an unimportant one. Roughly translates to; lie. e.g. The biggest fib that Kirstie has heard so far this week is that dis bitch changed admins like no you didn't m8 it's obviously the exact same person and FIX YO DAMN GRAMMAR LIKE CAN YOU SPELL OR NOT I THINK THIS IS LAZINESS LIKE I'M NOT GONNA LIE MY LITTLE COUSIN IS FOUR AND HE KNOWS THE GODDAMN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PAST AND THE PRESENT TENSE. LIKE YOU WOULDN'T SAY "I smiled and I eat the cake." SO DON'T DAMN TYPE IT. AMERICAN. IDIOT.

Moon; English, verb: expose one's buttocks to someone in order to insult or amuse them. Roughly translates to; FLASHING LE BUTT (idk). e.g. When Kirstie was only a wee girly she used to randomly stick her arse out of the window and moon the innocent passers-by.

MuuUUUUUmMMMM; English, verb: to call one's mother, generally from up the stairs whilst the mother is downstairs. Roughly translates to; AY YO MOM. e.g. "MuuUUUUUmMMMM!!!!" Kirstie yelled, wanting to know when dinner would be ready.

Wee: Scottish, adjective: little. Roughly translates to; smol. e.g. "I bet ye only have a wee pixie-dick ye cunt-face!" Yelled Kirstie's Scottish granny during a fit of road-rage aimed at a truck driver.

END OF DICTIONARY PART.