Long Lost Angels- Kellic

Chapter 9

Once I realized that Kellin was in the room I started to panic, because I didn't know Kellin as still here, let alone coming back to me, and also cause i didn't know how he would react to seeing me like this. I stared at Kellin for a couple minutes, then looked away cause he was just standing there. But I think it was just shock. Then Kellin came over and sat next to me, and put his head on my shoulder and started rubbing my back. I was still crying, but he didn't say anything for a while, I didn't mind, it was just comforting having him there like that. He started humming. My crying started to slow down, now I was just sniffling and trying to catch my breath. Kellin started to whisper to me. Thankfully whisper, he was just calming. "Vic?, you wanna talk about it?" He asked. I didn't want to talk about it but I also knew that he probably won't stop asking about it or stop worrying about it so I knew I'd have to tell him eventually, I just didn't think I'd be like this. "I don't want to force you too, if you don't want to. I just think it might help is all." Kellin said. I finally was able to compose myself enough to talk. And he's my boyfriend I don't want us to have to keep secrets. "N-No, it's okay, I don't want us to have to keep secrets from each other" I was able to say, although it sounded mumbled.  He picked his head up off my shoulder and he looked at me. He then grabbed my hands kissed them lightly. "Ok, take your time, there's no rush" he said back. I nodded and when I was ready to talk I did. And Kellin was ready to listen.

I looked at Kellin and I can tell he was concerned but he was willing to listen and that's a good thing. "Ok, first I'm sorry I scared you like that..." I started off. "Don't worry about it, I want to know why Vic, so I can potentially try and help" he said back to me. I nodded and continued on. "...Well no one know about this so keep it hushed ok. I'm not what you think, I've been a mess for years, and it started around the time I was a freshmen..."

*flashback to 14yr old Vic*

High school, they make sound so nice in the movies and shows, but the reality of it is it sucks. I just started freshmen year at Claremont high and life is already getting worse, more then it already is. People I've known for years started to turn on me and harass me all the time. They would beat me up and make fun of me. I was going though a pivotal time in life I was just starting to question myself and discover that I was gay, but I wasn't sure, I was finding girls less attractive and boys more attractive, only three people actually talk to me Tony, Jaime and Alex. Alex was my neighbor, we've been friends forever. I meet Tony and Jaime in middle school. And the four of us got along great. But that's school, at home was a different story. My parents were starting to ignore me more and Mike, but he isn't as aware of it cause he's only 12. It hurts a lot when your parents suddenly stop caring about you and what you do. Going back to school, other than the three friends I have everyone else was being and ass to me. I'm surprised that they stayed. Anyway, I was really depressed and I didn't know how to take out my anger and frustrations. I was blaming myself for everything bad that was going on in my life. With everything going on I felt lost and alone. I have friends but it was probably out of pity, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it cause know one would care enough to know. So to cope I started taking my anger out on myself and cutting. The first time was about a month ago and I immediately got satisfaction and relief, and it felt so good. So I started doing it all the time, more and more each time. And I'd never tell anyone. But as the year went on i was still questioning and it was put to the test when I started to get feelings for my best friend Alex, I didn't want to tell him. Cause that would ruin our friendship. And I couldn't handle it. So I did what I alway did when I get overwhelmed. Then by, April of freshmen year Alex came out to me while we were hanging out in my room. He also told my that he liked me for a long time, and he was ready to tell me. So I told him I liked him for a while and it was weird how that happened, but we decided to try and date. I wasn't much different only more touching and kissing was involved. That's when I confirmed that I was gay. But then a month later Alex broke up with me. He said it was only cause he was moving and didn't want it being a long distance relationship. I understood but it was still hard to deal with. I was going to be weird not having Alex always around. I was getting worse with my so called "addiction/problem" and that didn't help at all. He moved and I haven't seen him since. I never told him about it. He texts me sometimes, but it gets to painful so I don't let it last.

Then sophomore year didn't get better either it actually got worse, cause when Tony and Jaime got into trouble and were suspended for a while I was all alone and really had no one. Then when they came back they weren't the same. And I thought I lost my (only) friends. So life kept getting shittier and shittier. It was these times I would talk to Alex about it but he wasn't here anymore and I still miss him. Then toward the end of sophomore year I was hitting the lowest point and I actually tried to, you know, end it. (Let's say) I was now 15 and Mike just turned 13 and he found me and freaked out. I told him to get out and leave me alone. Reluctant to he did anyway cause I'm older. But he came back and asked me about it. He was getting more aware that mom and dad don't care anymore, and knew he couldn't tell them so he just let it go and kept talking to me about it. All we have is each other and we knew that. After that we got really close, we were close but we got closer. That's when I told him I was gay, he didn't think twice about it and was fine with it, I still didn't tell him about the little problem I have.

Once I was a junior, Mike was starting high school so I didn't know what to expect with him. I would pass him once in a while in the hall and I felt embarrassed, I was the older one and I had to be strong for him, not the other way around. But I couldn't. One day Mike witnessed me getting harassed and came over to me and then scared the others off. By now Mike towered over me. So he was intimidating. And that was the day everyone left me alone. The harassment my have stopped but the memories are still there and they haunt me. And I still have my problem with my parents and they still ignore us and don't care about anything we do. Mike and I are still close. I still have my cutting problem but it got better I don't do it has much, but still.

*end flashback*

Once I finished Kellin was tearing and looking at me. He just hugged me so tight I thought I might pop. Anyway, Kellin listened to he whole thing and I was glad to have someone to say that too. "Oh, Vic I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible" he said to still tearing. Kellin kissed me lightly. I was relived that he didn't run off when I told him. We sat in an embrace for a while. "Vic, I know you don't want to hear this know but I feel I need to tell you my past, if you don't mind me telling you, I'll keep it short and to the point" he said to me. He was right I didn't want to hear it now but i still wanted to know about it. And I know I owe him the time cause he listened to my story. "It's ok I want to listen" and with that he told me everything. (I already explained Kellin's past so I'm not going to say it again) I felt so bad for him to have gone through that. But when I think about it now knowing, it makes a lot of sense to the way he is. But in a way I guess the world is weird to have two broken people like us meet and have the other try and mend the broken pieces. We are lost but we found each other. And he's all I need right now. I hugged him tightly too. Then I kissed him. But we were interrupted when a knock on my door and then opening to see Mike and Tony. After that we just hung around and I properly introduced Kellin to Tony and I told Tony he was my boyfriend and Tony is ok with it and promises that he'll talk to Jaime and try and get him to be rational. An hour later Tony left to go home cause it was getting late, Mike went back into his room. Kellin was just about to leave but he stopped and said something. "Vic, I didn't get a chance before to say this but, I want you to know I'm not going to force you to stop, I know, but I want you to promise if you ever feel the need to do it again I want you to call me or text me whenever. I'll always be here to listen and talk to" I knew what he was talking about but I didn't know what to say to him. He came back over to me and kissed me with more passion then earlier. "Thank you Kellin" and I walked him out of my house. I went back to my room, god how did I get so lucky to get him.
"I love him" I think mentally.

-----------------

Hope your all enjoying this story. Well keep on reading. Comment, rate and all that stuff. (1836 words)