Drowning In Sorrow- Poetry

What Did I Do To Deserve This?

"What did I do to deserve this?'

I block the screams, yells, and arguments.

I block out all the words that hit like knives,
Worthless, pathetic, failure, waste of air, space, and time.

'You're such a disappointment, we didn't raise you to be this way'

Everything was so overwhelming,
All the pain I wanted it to go away,
All the misery and desperation for one compliment.

What did I do to deserve all this?

My parents fighting all the time,
And my moms cries at night,
As she screams to god to take her pain away, to take her life away.

And my dad's disgusted looks at me,
Always calling me fat and worthless, and a failure.
"You will never become a doctor, with those grades, you're such a failure, what did I do to deserve this."

But he doesn't understand, that's their dreams not mine. Being a doctor would be amazing, but that's not who I want to be.
I never learned the concept of peotry,
I just taught myself, to hold a pen, and write.
To pour out all my feelings on colorless paper.
But I've always wanted to learn,
I wanted to be a poet,
But I never wanted to disappoint my family, so I went along with all their words.

I listened to my dad as he said words,
Stabbing knives in my heart,
I watched as my mom cried for help,
But I couldn't do anything.

Maybe I am worthless, pathetic, a failure, a disappointment. A waste of air, time, and space.
That's why I wrote this letter today,
To say I'm sorry for everything I didn't say,
To say sorry about all my parents unachieved goals for me,
And all my parents disappointments and pleas.

I wrote this poem to say goodbye,
To all my friends who tried staying, But always left.
To all the people who stabbed me in the back and smiled.
To all the people like me, who can't take it any longer,
Stay strong,
This wasn't my fight from the start so goodbye to you all."

And maybe her parents should've cared,
And maybe her friends should've stayed,
And maybe her school mates shouldn't have played.
And maybe her message wasn't sent to the people like her.

But it was all too late,
She was gone, and nothing could've changed.