Brother // l.h.

• Eight •

The van stopped in front of the airport building and within seconds at least a hundred girls and also some paparazzis were surounding us. The airport security made a way through the crowd for us. I put on my sunglasses, the snapback and stuffed my hair into the cowl of my hoodie, so no one could see my face.

"You ready Em?" Luke asked as he put on his sunglasses. "Yes." I answered as I grabbed my backpack. "Alright." he said and that's when the security opened the door of the van. " Go. Go. Go." the man yelled at us and we practically ran into the building and over to our gate. We quickly checked in and after the usual routine we were all sat in the plane.

"I'll never get used to this fans at the airport thing." Calum said, as he went over his hair with one of his hands. "You'll have to one day. It'll probably stay like that for a long time." I answered his comment as I put my phone into flight mode. "As much as I hate to admit it, but Junior is right Cal." Michael commented and I laughed. "What's so funny?" Michael asked, poking my side. "I just noticed that whenever we see each other in person, you somehow call me Junior."

Michael smiled proudly and wiggled with his eyebrows. "Well actually it makes things easier. Because I usually just call your brother Hemmings and normally I'd do the same with you, but then you would always both react, so it's Hemmings for him and Junior for you." Michael explained to me and I nodded my head. "Makes sense. And to be honest I even find it strange if you don't call me junior. Got used to it so much." I shrugged his explanation off and looked out of the window. Gladly the boys let me choose my seat even though they all knew I'd take the window seat.

Soon our plane took off and we were above the clouds. My thoughts went back to Amy's message earlier. To be honest, I feel really really bad for lying to them and not telling them the truth about who I am. They have been my best friends for three years now and I can't even imagine what I would do without them. These girls have always been there for me, whatever the matter and I have been there for them all the way. I even cancelled concerts for them in the past, when they really needed me and I am too shy to tell them about me. Betrayal. That's probably the best word for it. The best word to describe the guilty feeling I always have when I am around them.

My head turned so I could take a look at the boys all sitting next to me. They were all either sleeping or listening to music. These boys were literally my life. I have known them for my whole life and they would do everything for me, while I would do everything for them. I have been on so many adventures, holidays and concerts (of other bands of course) with them. We have shared so many memories I'll never ever forget. I have never ever regretted something I did with or something I told these boys and I am so glad to have them.

Michael looked up from his phone screen and locked eyes with me. "Are you alright?" he asked me calmly. "I am. Just thinking." I told him and smiled a little bit. He smiled back at me and went on: "Whatcha thinking about?" "About you boys, about my girls back in germany, about my life and.." I stucked. "And what?" he asked furrowing his eyebrows. "Michael, am I a bad person?" I suddenly asked him and I could tell by his facial expression that my words caught him off guard. "Why would you be a bad person? You're - and I mean this serious - the best person I ever met." Michael admitted proudly and I smirked. "Bad person for not telling the girls who I actually am?" I asked and looked out of the window again and over the clouds. "Emily look at me." Michael said and I turned to him again. "If you don't feel okay about lying to these girls, you can tell them anytime. But you have to keep in mind that they mind not understand you and might not react in a good way. I believe now, after I met them for the first time, that they are really great persons, but if you share with them, you might also have to share it with the rest of the world. And I know this has always been something that you wanted to avoid." Michael told me calm and serious. "You are probably right. It's just I feel guilt whenever I'm around them." I said and felt tears pringing in my eyes. "Hey don't cry. I know it is hard, but it is your decision wether you tell them or not. Just keep in mind that it will not be easy." Michael tried to calm me down. "Okay. Thank you Michael." I told him and gave him a quick sidehug. "No problem junior." he said.

I peeked at my lockscreen. It held a picture of me and the girls on a holi festival we've been to last month. I unlocked my phone and moved my finger to the spotify app. Untangling my headphones, I plugged them in and listened to music for the rest of the flight. As soon as we landed the whole hectic began again. I put on my sunglasses, the snapback and the cowl and hoped to get through the crowd as fast as possible and I was more than happy, when we were finally in the bus again.

This time I sat next to Ashton in the back and the others in front of us. My brain told me to do something, to talk to him, anything, but I couldn't even come up with a topic. Suddenly everything we could possibly talk about seemed strange to me. "Where will you be after sunday?" Ashton asked me and I didn't even proceed that he was talking to me, until Calum turned around and nodded with his head towards Ashton. "Sorry Ash, what did you say?" "I asked, where you'll be after sunday?" "Well back in germany for the rest of the week and next weekend I think it's Berlin, the day before you play there actually." I threw my head back in thought. "Many people you know in Berlin?" he went on, obviously feeling as awkward about talking as me.

I gasped and looked at him. He widened his eyes and looked at me. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked and laughed right afterwards. Well that was a good sign we're making accomplishments here, but that's not the point. "No, but fuck the girls will stay in Berlin that weekend. They'll be at my concert on friday night and at yours on saturday. Shit." I hissed and Luke turned around, removing his headphones.

"Wait. Wait. Slow down. They will be at our concert,too? The one you want to perform on stage with us the whole night?" he asked confused. "Yes! How am I gonna make it through that weekend without telling them somehow?" I asked and the boys all shrugged, also not having an answer to that. I rolled my eyes and fell back into my seat. Great, as if it wasn't already hard enough.