Brother // l.h.

• Seven •

"What I want? Really Ashton?" I asked him, my arms neatly folded over my chest. Scoffing I rolled my eyes at his question. "Yeah, what do you want?" He asked raising his voice. "Don't you dare raising your voice at me Irwin!" I grunted deadly serious. "What is your problem with me, huh? What have I done to you, that you literally are so close to spilling my secret to my class?" My voice coming out loud and angry. Ashton's face suddenly softened and his shoulders dropped. "After all you really think I am against you?" he asked suddenly very quiet and sadly. His eyes looked directly into mine, trying to find an answer for my sudden behaviour. "Well what else could there possibly be?" I asked him shrugging. He sighed loudly. "You really don't get it don't you?" he asked shaking his head at my question.

"Then tell me Ashton, what do I not get that you act like that? What is your problem that you constantly fight with Luke, even so hard that not even I can really calm him down again?" I more yelled. " I love you, okay?" he asked, suddenly breathing really heavy and fast. "I love you Emily and that is the reason why Luke hates me. That's the reason why we're fighting all the time. At least I had the guts to tell him and inform him about it. Otherwise I would probably be dead by now." Ashton told me sadly.

I looked at him guilty. "Ashton I.." I started but he cut me off again. "And I know you don't feel the same way about me and I know that we will never be a thing, even though there is still a tiny part in me who hopes for the best. But I just want you to know that okay. You will always be out of my league, simply because you're my best mates sister. That's why I am acting so stupid around you. As I said, I just wanted you to know that." Ashton finished and turned around, entering the classroom again. Leaving me speechless in the hallway, with my mind full of thoughts. My eyebrows were furrowed and I still stared at the point where Ashton stood until a few seconds ago.

I didn't even know what to say or do. Let alone, how should I act around him now that he was all honest to me. So the girls were right and he is in love with me, but what can I possibly do? For me he might never be more than a friend, yet I can't stand being the reason for the pain he is in.

The door opened again and I looked who it was. Michael's head popped out and he examined my facial expression. "Due to the fact that your talk - which might not seem to have ended well - is over, would you mind to come inside again and help us carry the instruments to the cars?" he said and looked at me awaiting. Sulkily I pushed out my bottom lip. "Not ended well is an understatement, but yes I will." I said and went into the room defiant.

The five of us carried the instruments to the cars and by the cars I mean my car and Luke's which - to be honest - could use another carwash. Ashton and me and also Luke and Ashton avoided talking or looking at each other, until we were seated in the cars. Ashton and Michael rode back home with me and Calum drove with Luke. The drive home was filled with silence and an awkward tension. To my luck Michael sat down in the front seat next to me, but that meant I had awkward eyecontact with Ashton every now and then in the mirror.

When we pulled up the driveway - Luke and Calum were already unpacking their car. "How was your drive?" Calum asked the three of us. "It couldn't have been any more awkward." Michael said loudly, while he smiled and rose his thumb in the air. I shook my head and went inside the house, not even bothering to help them carry. "Hey honey how was your day?" my mum asked as I came into the welcoming room. "Fine." I answered her quickly and ran up the stairs. I passed the music lounge and Luke's room and went directly into mine. I more slammed than closed the door shut and threw myself on my bed. Burrying my face in my pillow I let out a small scream.

This day turned from the worst to the best, to the worst again. How am I supposed to act normally around Ashton now that he told me he loves me? Seating myself comfortably I grabbed the remote and turned on my tv, scrolling through my Netflix account, I decided to go for Mean Girls. After about 45 minutes into the movie there was a soft knock on my door. I was laying under my blanket, pulled up to my nose, so only my eyes and ears were free. The doorknob turned and Luke's head popped in.